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I don't know how to deal with my sister

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by PennyT, Jul 15, 2016.

  1. PennyT

    Regular Member

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    I'm out to my family, and everyone is very supportive, except for one of my sisters. She reacted badly, saying horrible things like that our parents might get a divorce if I told them, that I shouldn't ruin our family with my sexuality when I'm not really gay, that society has convinced me that I'm gay but that I'm definitely not because she "knows" me, that my support network was just humoring me with my wild ideas that I'm attracted to women, etc. At the time, what she said really hurt, even knowing that she just wasn't right. When I came out to my parents, they reacted wonderfully. My sister and I sort of resolved her reaction - she sort of apologized - but she still thinks I'm confused.

    We're living together for the summer, but she left for a week on a trip, so I had time to collect myself. Today, I spent the day with a few people from my support network, and I was in a really good mood when I came home. My sister had just gotten back. It was fine at first. I went to my room, because I was tired. She translates me going to my room and me being angry with her, so she invited me to join her in the living room. We watched TV, and some how we started talking about sex. We've created a rule where we don't talk about my sexuality, but homosexual sex got brought up. She told me that sex between a man and a woman is what our bodies were intended for and therefore the "best" sex possible. She also said that gay sex wasn't natural, but I don't know if she meant it like that. She has told me that she's not homophobic, and that, if I were "actually" gay, she'd be fine with it, but her words were frustrating and a little hurtful.

    Still, I let it go. Later that night, we were talking about her trip. She was laughing about some of the stunts her coworkers had pulled, and she called them idiots. She also told me multiple times about how awesome it was to get her paycheck. She was so smug, that it made me feel a little angry. I tried to express how I felt, and she had the whole thing about how I was too into political correctness and how she had the right to laugh at anyone she wanted because it wasn't illegal, and that I had no right to judge her for judging other people. But, apparently, the world needs "sensitive" people like me. It felt so patronizing.

    I went to my room and burst into tears, which is so horrible because I know she's full of BS 70% of the time, but I feel so trapped, even in my room. I can't go anywhere else at night, and she's in the room over. Her superior attitude, and her remarks about homosexuality, and even her talking about her attraction towards guys when I can't comfortably talk to her about my attraction towards women, it is all so frustrating and horrible, and I don't know what to do anymore. She's been aback for less than a day and I'm already crying. She'll be gone in less than two months, but I don't know how much more I can take. :frowning2:

    Am I being irrationally? How do I handle this? What should I do? :help:
     
  2. HappyGirlLucky

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    You are not being irrational and your sister sounds pretty narcissistic, she seems to get off on hurting and manipulating you and she seems to be good at it too. Has she always been like that? I have no advice on what to do, aside from just try to avoid her as best you can. At least she will be gone in under two months, you just have to make it until she goes. (*hug*)

    You could try talking to your parents, but if she really is as manipulative as she sounds she will most likely manage to twist it around and make you get into trouble instead. Maybe you can vent to your other sister(s) and ask them not to tell anyone?
     
  3. PennyT

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    I think she's always been that way, but only sometimes. At other times, she can be a really good older sister. My mom does know about he reaction to my coming out, and she offered that I could go live with my aunt, but I really don't want to get rid of my independence here and my aunt lives much farther away from my job.
     
  4. CharacterStudy

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    She's talking bollocks, as you know.

    By the way, next time she starts with "She also said that gay sex wasn't natural", you can refer her to the very very long list of animals which exhibit homosexual behaviour (that's what it is called technically).