Hello guys! I just need a little help or advice from you. I'm 21 and I just had my first relationship with this amazing guy. He's everything that I could ever dreamed of. He's really kind, understanding, generous, and loving. However, there is this nagging feeling that I would somehow fuck everything up and ruin our relationship. I don't think that he deserves someone like me. He's really rich and I'm not. He's really famous (around our place) and I'm not. All these negative things about me make me question why he's with me. I'm afraid the he will find someone better than me. Someone better suited to his personality. Someone who is better suited to his ideal type. Is this normal?? To imagine these sort of things in a new AND first romantic relationship?? Or is it just me? Which makes me forever fucked up.
He sounds like a great guy. It's perfectly normal to have fears in a relationship, especially when you feel like someone might be out of your league. Is there someone out there better suited to his personality or closer to his type? Maybe. But he chose you. He doesn't have feelings for them; he has feelings for you. He's not out of your league because there's no such thing. Not being rich or famous isn't a negative thing. Your life is just different from his. The next time you feel these thoughts coming back, remind yourself that he's with you. That's what really counts.
Don't think in terms of "deserves to be in a relationship" because no one needs to be in a relationship. People can and do live happily single lives. A relationship gives an opportunity to share your life (and happiness) with someone else. This brings another point: you cannot compare yourself to him, and he cannot compare himself to you. You are two unique individuals, and you do not have to be totally equal in terms of wealth and social status to love each other. However, that doesn't mean there will be other judgmental people, so it is helpful to immunize yourself from their negative opinions. Yes, your partner might find someone more similar to him, but remember he chooses to be with you for something that can't be measured. No one can predict how long this relationship will last. You are 21, so you are going to mature into a young adult with more experience, and it is important to maintain your other relationships with friends and family so that you don't feel so dependent on your partner. What he does is ultimately his responsibilty, and the same his true for you. Try being honest about your concerns with him because keeping it a secret could stress you out. I always liked this quote: The greatest gift you can give somebody is your own personal development. I used to say, "If you will take care of me, I will take care of you. "Now I say, I will take care of me for you, if you will take care of you for me. - Jim Rohn
Since this is your first relationship, I understand that this is a whole new situation for you and you will have your doubts and fears due to your inexperience. However, perhaps you should try to focus on enjoying the relationship and taking things one day at a time. Like it was mentioned in another post, "he chose you" and therefore, this is where your focus should be instead of wondering if someone else will come along and take him away. Also, like another post mentioned, maintain other friendships and relationship as well as family members as to not becoming so dependent upon him. Good Luck!!!
