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Best Friend Problems (Really confused)

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by oraluxjack, Jul 17, 2016.

  1. oraluxjack

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    Hello,
    So i love my best friend. He doesnt know actually but i am not going to say anything to him because of something i learned. So the thing is i have given out some mixed signals so i could understand if he loved me back or not, and he has given many mixed signals too so i am really confused. When we have a sleepover at his place, even though he has room, we will be sleeping together in the same bed just because he says so. i dont have a problem with that, to be honest i like sleeping with him but anyways. Now all the problems started when he got in a fight with his cousin. his cousin and i were previously friends and we had contact with each other. After he got his fight, his cousin decided to talk with me and tell me different things of him and stuff like that, and among these things, he told me that my best friend had talked to him about me. He had told him that he thinks i am bisexual and that he is scared of me. His cousin decided to ask him why do you think so and he told him that he thinks so because i want to be all the time around him and some other stuff. Now guys can you please explain me what is going on because i am really confused. He had told this at least 2 months ago but i didnt find him to change his behaviour towards me, infact he has made our friendship even stronger. Also its not me that wants to be around him all the time, he is. It is him who always asks me if i want to hung out with him. i never ask him to hangout with me, he asks me everytime and now he is telling that he is scared of me because i want to be with him all the time? He also wants to sleep with me and now he is scared of me? This is really awkward. We have never talked about our sexuality but why would he say something like that to him? This is nonsense! Also he claims that he despises gay sex but he does get hard with gay porn. How can you explain this?
    thanks for your help.
     
  2. RavenTheRat

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    Honestly, it almost sounds like (and normally I don't believe in this theory but) he's gay or bi himself and is having trouble accepting it, and as a response to this feeling he's kind of pointing fingers at you.
     
  3. oraluxjack

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    By the way let me correct something.
    I talked again with his cousin and it turned out that he didnt tell him that he thinks i am bi but he asked him how to understand if someone is bi. So this confuses me a lot. Why would he say that he is scared of me? This makes no sesne!
     
  4. Aspen

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    I agree with Raven. He could be projecting his fears about his own sexuality onto you. He wants to spend a lot of time with you, invites you to sleep in the same bed, and he might be afraid of what that means. So in talking to his cousin, he puts it all on you. He might be doing it to deflect suspicion about himself, or he might be using it to lie to himself.
     
  5. oraluxjack

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    hmm, yeah i guess so.
    So what do you guys recommend me doing?
    Should i talk to him about it and tell him that his cousin told me so? Or should i just ignore it and continue the friendship?
    How should i tell him?
     
  6. oraluxjack

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    Can you guys help me?
     
  7. pvd

    pvd
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    I feel like your friend is acting similar to my friend.

    One time in college when he found out I was hooking up with guys he got really mad because he blamed that as the reason that people on campus thought he was gay.

    Anyway I am still unsure of his sexuality and he still sends weird mixed signals after being friends with him for over 4 years. So I don't know if I can be of much help since I can't solve my own problems.