i dated a boy from jan 2016 until june. i was a junior in high school and he was a senior. i was 16 and he was 19 (something about repeating a grade or starting school late or something). the age gap wasn't bad during the school year because we were a junior and senior dating, so it was basically like he was only a year older. but he graduated in mid may and i was still at school. then it became weird because he was being An Adult and i was still a kid in high school. it felt wrong. it felt weird for a few weeks before that for me, tbh. also, he's poly. i said it didn't bother me, because it doesn't. as long as it includes open communication, it's fine. otherwise, it's cheating. when he told me, he briefly mentioned a guy that he thought was cute. a couple months later, i find out that he's more or less been dating this guy. idk if it's cheating or poly, because he did tell me about him, but nothing about a relationship with him. i was relieved when he broke up with me. i seriously struggle with close relationships because i have paranoia and a lot of other mental health issues, so that may have been part of it, but it's hard to say. he didn't tell me why he broke up with me. it could've been my paranoia, it could've been that i'm trans and he likes cis guys more, it could've been the other guy, it could've been the age gap. i've learned that i just can't trust people enough to date someone. my paranoia is too much. i'm working on it in therapy, but it's been rough. was the 3 year age gap unhealthy? was the poly/cheating/whatever unhealthy? was the fact that i was relieved to be dumped a sign that i was in an unhealthy relationship?
