Hi all, To give you all a brief background. I share room with a girl who i'm in love with. We know each other for about 1.5 years now that's when she moved in with me. If connected instantly. And within a month we kind of became close and felt attraction for each other and started making out and stuff. I fell in love with her head over heels. She also loved me.. but she always told me that she is straight and she is looking for a boyfriend. And that she had no boyfriend for past 5 years she felt alone and probably that's what brought us close instantly. Since then we have been kind of in a relationship and would do things together..be it anything. However, her getting excited by looking at cute/hot boys was always there, which obviously hurt me but I wouldn't say anything as she has cleared it out that she is straight. She takes care of me very well and I do the same for her. We both really are fond of each other. She is one of those you can count on forever..for rest of your life. Recently, last month she met a guy in a party and felt strong attraction for him and they have been dating since then. I'm obviously heart broken and really sad. But again can't complaint too much. I do look sad all the time and she would try to spend time with me whenever possible as we still live together but have stopped making out n stuff for obvious reasons. This guy comss and meet her 2-3 days of week and would stay over at least once a week. That time I go and sleep at a friend's room.. which is available. Problem is no matter how much I was aware that this will happen one day that she will find a bf. I'm hurt whenever they are together and make out. She looks happy and expect me to be normal friends with her and we have always promised each other that no matter what happens we'll never leave each other. I can move out of that room and shift to some apartment near by but the problem is that she will be left alone as she is not working. And she is alone all day at home and get depressed if she doesn't see me in d evening after my office. Even I feel bad to leave her alone like that. But I also cannot see her with her bf in front of me and listen to her bf stories almost daily. It just kills me. Idk if it'd be selfish of me to move out. However, she is not financially dependent on me. He parents sends her money. She is a wonderful person and makes every effort to make me happy and comfortable. I have been trying to adjust to the situation a lot but it's just not possible. I'm sad all the time. I told her not to touch me or hug me at night and not tell me her bf stories. But she can't help it.. she would tell me anyway. I mean not every thing but yeah she would mention him atleast 2-3 times a day even she tries not to hurt my feelings. Plus she would hug me and sleep at night. It makes me feel as if she doesn't respect my feelings. Please suggest..would it be mean to move out.
I think it would be a very good idea for you to move out, because right now you sound like you really need that distance and it would not be selfish at all. Besides, if you move to a nearby place you two can still hang out when her boyfriend is not around, right? You can even sleep over some nights if you feel like it, but at least then you have some place to go when you can't be around her because it's too painful. It is important that you take care of yourself too! (*hug*)
Thanks for your reply. Yeah I that's what I want to do. I will also def miss her but it will still be a lot better than what I'm feeling right now. It's just that I'm feeling really bad for her. She will be alone I know especially until she is able to find a job for herself so that she doesn't have to be alone at home all day. She will be really sad if I leave her, I told her last month that I want to move out now. She almost cried and said she never thought I'd abandon her and leave. She said she would have never done anything of this sort.
I understand that you feel bad for her, but she doesn't have to be alone all day if you come over after work when you feel up to it plus she has her boyfriend over 2-3 days of the week too. I know this is difficult for her, but I think it is more difficult for you to be around her right now and your feelings matter too. She can't judge you for this, it is easy for her to say she would have never moved out. She is straight and got to be with a boyfriend and to still have you around - you are not straight and have to watch the woman you love be happy with someone else, and hear her gush about it. I think if she lived with her current boyfriend for 1½ years and he decided to go find another woman and still told her to live with him because he wants her around too, that she wouldn't stay. Especially if he insisted on gushing to her about his new girlfriend several times a day. She just doesn't see it like that, because she told you she was straight and assumed that means you wouldn't develop deep feelings for her, but that is not how it works unfortunately. :icon_sad: You really need to take care of yourself here!
Yeah that's right. Its just that idk how to explain her what xactly I'm feeling. I dont want to sound like a creep or weirdo by saying I'm in love and can't stand all this etc. I just want to tell her that it's not just my love for her.. it just makes me feel miserable that how life is so easy for straight people, how hurtful it is to see that one person with someone else I have ever fell in love with. With who I have got a chance to touch and be with. But thanks for understanding. It means a lot.
