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Best friend is uncomfortable around me? :(

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by oliolioli, Jul 23, 2016.

  1. oliolioli

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    I'd really liked my best friend for about a year when I told her. I wasn't/am not out, and I don't even have a label. I just know how I feel about her. It was really fine, and she said she wouldn't picture me any differently and that I shouldn't need to censor myself around her or anything. She made jokes about it and it all seemed fine. That was maybe 5 weeks ago now.

    Lately she's been getting weird when I even touch her. She's a person who is really big on personal space, and the other day we were watching movies in my bed, and she was jokingly annoying me, so I put my head right on top of her shoulder and laid on her. She said "get off me lesbo" and I was really taken aback. I said "I was only doing it to annoy you," to which she replied "it doesn't annoy me, just makes me feel a bit weird."

    I'm so cut up about this now. I would never have told her if I had thought something like this would happen. I only told her so that I could start moving on, which I have, and I've really come in leaps and bounds. I didn't even think of it as being a love/sexual thing. I used to think about her all the time and how much I love her, but I haven't done that for about 2 weeks now. It's really coming along well, but that whole thing has just set me back a bit.

    I'm really not sure what to do. Her reaction makes me think that she thinks I'd try and pull a move on her when I know she's not interested, which is something I'd never ever do. I feel sick to my stomach whenever I think about what happened and I really don't know what to do about it.

    TL;DR - my best friend thinks I'm trying to pull moves on her when I'm actively trying to fall out of love with her. And I don't know what to do about it. HELP?!
     
  2. NattyBoo33

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    Your friend may have only reacted that way because of the playfully-agressive mood she was in with you. Putting your head on her shoulder probably caught her off guard. Five whole weeks has been a period she's had to reflect on your confession. Have you talked more about your feelings toward her? In my personal experience, I've had hard times sharing my emotions with others the way I actually feel in a way they understand.

    And something to consider, if this will lighten your mood, she could be acting weird recently because shes developed feelings for you too... hehe
     
  3. oliolioli

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    Yeah, we've both been pretty open about how we feel. The reason I was so surprised with her reaction is that me being affectionate or touchy isn't out of character, and I was always like that before she knew.

    Hahah unfortunately there's an extremely minimal chance of her having feelings for me. I clung to that sliver of hope for too long and it nearly tore me apart. But thank you for your response!!
     
  4. Biboy33

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    I think you should talk to her and ask her how she feels around you, just have a calmed conversation, I mean she's your bestfrien that shouldn't be a problem
     
  5. confusedbubble

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    Yeh you need to speak to her tell her that you aren't trying to pull a move on her but you'll respect her personal space if she's uncomfortable.
    Tell her what she said shocked you and you didn't expect her to say that she could of just said get off me or something else, ask her if she wants to she boundaries if she feels uncomfortable that way she's the one that decides her level of personal space