I posted this in Anonymous first, but it was probably the wrong place to put it, so thought id put it here. Im so so so sorry if posting it twice is really annoying, but i really need some advice. So, I have anxiety and depression. Its mild depression, but anxiety makes it worse sometimes. Its my fault really, but it means i get quiet and like being alone. Oddly enough i am actually a really outgoing person, but i like mountaineering and isolated things like that. I have a girlfriend (I'm a girl too, bi) and we've been going out for 7 months now, i have told her about my anxiety and depression. She doesn't like doing the same stuff i do, which i struggle with. We have yet to reach "making out" just kinda pecked each other, this is making me freak out a little cause my friends keep asking what we've done yet.... Is this weird for a relationship by now? I can't seem to make me do anything, so thats stupid of me I also used to have a slight problem with food a few years ago, used to throw up and stuff. Problem is, my girlfriend seems to almost take the piss of this? She's always like "you know when you were obsessed with food, it was all you used to talk about, it was annoying", which is true, but it makes me feel like shit kinda. The other thing is, where i live there is no signal so we use fb. Well we did a few months ago. She never talks to me on there, ill send a message and shell reply days later, despite being online and seeing it. And if she does message me, ill reply in minutes and then shell take days again. She just proposed a date by "shall we meet up or something". Now this is just me being stupid i know, but this makes me wonder why doesn't she reply... We are both 18, and are both (hopefully) going to uni in september, I've applied to biology :icon_bigg, but i know anxiety is going to make staying together hard at uni, which is hard anyway, which i could do, but the messaging thing makes me wonder about if its worth it? She's just not my best friend any more, i hang out with a different girl far more, i speak to a different friend about all my ridiculous issues (he's amazing and talks me through anxiety attacks at 4am, and doesn't mind, he gets me to go out, if I'm struggling with big house parties he'll take me to the shops or something to get away. He's the first and only person i talk to about stuff, he nagged it out of me, I'm normally better at hiding it all) which is what i wish my gf would do. but she doesn't. I know i haven't made her sound the best, she's amazing and i really do love her, i just don't know if she's my best friend anymore. I know this isn't really a question, but i just need some advice. Would it be best to break up with her before uni, or not, is this just my stupid fault like everything else is? I just need some advice? Im so sorry this is so long and annoying, and not an actual question, but i need some help, and i just sort of typed vomited. Sorry!!
First things first are you ready to take things to the next level in your relationship/ sex life if you feel you are you need to speak to her and ask if she's ready in all honesty after 7 months if I hadn't even made out I'd be asking what's up and if she was interested in going out with me or just acting like friends, but that's me only move forward if you're ready for the next level. You need to speak to her about her taking the mick about your eating problems she shouldn't be speaking to you like that it was a serious thing and if she's laughing at you that's nasty. As a couple you should be able to speak to her like she's your best friend and if you believe you've stopped doing that then is the relationship still worth it you both need to sit down and speak about where your relationship is going because if you feel she's drifted away from you in 7 months then this could harm the relationship in the longer term. Maybe she's thinking the same and doesn't know how to approach the issues that you've asked about. Keep us updated hugs to you and I hope it sorts it's self out
OP here I think i need to break up as this isn't good for me, on a side note, i have finally decided to go and see someone about anxiety and depression (i have been diagnosed but stopped seeing anyone after that, my amazing friend i mentioned talked me into it and took me). Any way, to bring the stereotype to life in this, it really is just me, I'm being ridiculous. but i have no idea how to do this? Just had a massive anxiety massive attack from thinking about it. We've been friends since i was 11 but only going out 7 months, and i can't lose our friendship. I really don't want her to hate me. Any advice for how to even start with this?
It's good to hear that you are seeking help for your anxiety and depression your friend seems like an amazing person please keep going it does help. I think you need to sit down together and talk about where your relationship is going be honest with her about what you feel, she may be anxious about moving forward in the relationship and you both seem stuck in a cycle of just hanging out as friends not as a couple. You need to ask her to be honest with you too as to why she's not moved the relationship forward too she may be wondering if to carry on or just keep going as friends. I think you've both got a lot if talking to do you need a space where you can talk together without being interrupted, but you both need to be totally honest it may even clear the air and start you moving forward in your relationship or friendship
