So, I've got a major crush on this girl, but the only problem I have is that I'm not sure if she's gay. I barely know her, I've only seen and talked to her a few times. But we're going biking in a few weeks, and I want to figure out if she's gay. Do I just ask her? Is that a thing people do? Or is that something I should completely steer away from? I mean if she is gay, it won't be that weird or awkward I don't think. But if she's straight, then that could lead to an awkward situation. Are there other ways to go about finding the answer to this question? If anyone has been in this situation before, what did you do? Thanks so much
Yeah, you'd have to ask. It's hard to tell by just looking at a person. Some lesbians are hyper feminine and not read as straight. Eye contact doesn't help all the time either, since some lesbians aren't attracted to everyone or they might be shy/more conservative (while some straight girls give you eye contact since they flirt with anyone). It would be awkward to ask sexuality I guess. Maybe just hint that you like her.
So I have this issue too. I literally have no idea how to hit on a girl. And if its subtle I think I would have no idea they are hitting on me. What is a girl to do?
You just go for it. I usually have zero issue figuring out if a girl is queer or not as it’s all about observing their behavior and while there are plenty of ways to get with a girl, if you don’t know for sure if a girl is hitting on you/queer, asking is likely your best bet. I was at an event a couple of weeks ago, got talking with a girl in the queue to the bar who introduced me to two of her friends. One of them started talking to me and while she didn’t say anything untoward or anything like that and we were having a very normal conversation, I noticed she was A LOT in my space (too much for a stranger who is straight) and a lot into physical contact (again too much for a stranger who is straight) and I just knew she was queer, I could just feel it. So after 5 minutes of knowing her and her being a little too close to me, I just straight up asked her if she was queer, she said yes, asked me if I was too, to which I said yes and later in the night her and I ended up hooking up. It was fairly straightforward and that’s been my experience with most girls. Even straight girls don’t get offended if you ask them if they like girls, so getting it wrong is no biggie. learn to read body language. 90% of the time I don’t need for the girl to speak to me to know because her body language speaks for itself so it’s all about picking up clues and then going for it. just be confident and approach the girl like you would approach anybody else and just be yourself.
Hey as your status is questioning I assume you are not out, but another option is to tell her you are questioning your sexuality, if this is something you feel comfortable with, often when we open up to someone like this, if they are LGBT they will also respond about themselves.
