Dysfunctional Family Issues

For me...one of the worst feelings in the world is to be supportive and loyal to a sibling who is constantly complaining in a very negative way about our other siblings and how bad they treat her. However, once they've given her a little attention, she throws you to the curb and abandoned you altogether for that attention. A couple of weeks later after this most recent incident, she contacted me but used the excuse that she had been sick and was really disappointed that I did not reach out to her. Nonetheless, I decided to be the bigger person and push this little matter under the rug for now. Unfortunately, although we had began to communicate again, but not like before and you could feel the distance between us no matter how I tried to move forward. Just a little background information, after my mom revealed to my siblings that I was gay, none of them had nothing to do with me for years. I was no longer invited over for holidays, barbecues, birthdays, etc. Initially, I felt ashamed and guilty for being a gay man and made many attempts to buy their love. It was my boyfriend at the time who convinced me to stop trying to buy them. Once I stopped buying their love, they went back to not having anything to do with me. In fact, if I happen to see any of them on the street or with their friends, they would ignore or cross on the other side of the street to avoid me. I finally gave up and move to the west side of the city and focus on making a life for myself without them. All of a sudden, after I have accepted them for not being in my life and things were going really well for me, I received a letter from my younger sibling, Lauren in which she apologized for her behavior towards me and although the remaining family members had tried to talk her out of making contact with me, she felt it was something she needed to do.

I'm not going into more greater detail of this story so I will skip to what is going on now. One of my other siblings, Erianna, had gotten into the habit where she would only contact me if she was having problems within her marriage and no one else would talk to her. Nonetheless, she is now getting a divorce and is in the transition of moving and although we are not close, I know that she has a lot of nice things from being a compulsive shopper and Lauren told me that she was giving away a lot in order to make room for a lot of new things she is buying for her new place. I knew she had a couple of computers that had never been used and I thought I would asked her if I could purchase one of them...not have one...but PURCHASE one. She told me that I could just have it instead of buying it because she was going to give it away or leave it for whomever purchase the house.

So, I contacted Lauren to tell her that she insisted on giving me the computer at no charge. After that, Lauren has not contacted me and so again, she has threw me to the curb. You see...for some reason, even though Lauren always denies it, but she goes out of her way to try get Erianna to like her but she always end up getting her feelings hurt. Erianna would offer or buy gifts for certain siblings excluding myself and Lauren. This has always bothered Lauren and since Erianna surprisingly offered to let me have the computer, Lauren got jealous and turned against me and now she has assumed in her tiny little mind that Erianna and I have become new friends which is far from the case. You see, after making sure that Erianna was certain that she wanted to give me the computer and after she offered to take it to the local PC shop to get everything checked out, she contacted me the next day to inform me that her ex-husband had took the computer and left the empty box in the den. She said she was checking the other room for the air conditioners that she promised my older niece when she decided to check the computer box.

To be honest, I did not believe this story she made up because several years ago, she had offered me the computer when I supported her during one of her domestic squabbles and a few days later, she reneged on that offer as well. What really baffles me is that none of my siblings would do nothing nice for anyone unless its a hidden agenda behind it were the situation is going to beneficial on their behalf. Also, no matter how dysfunctional their relationships are with each other, they seemed to be there for each other no matter what excluding me. I have a brother who is a drug addict and although he has a steady income, he takes it all and blow it on drugs and clothes. He is always getting evicted. However, no matter what, a sibling is always coming to his aid. This is something that my mom always did before she passed away and therefore, he comes to expect family members to do the same as she did. They are his enablers and he is very ungrateful to a fault. As it stands, I am back to being the black sheep and here I am being subjected and ridiculed and do not know why. This time, I've had enough and want to keep things the way they are and move forward with my life. I don't have time for juvenile behavior or whenever you don't have anyone else to talk to. Sorry, just upset and venting....JS