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Should I talk to former friend about being LGBT?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Mariana, Aug 2, 2016.

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  1. Mariana

    Mariana
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2016
    Messages:
    168
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    Location:
    Europe
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I think I need more LGBT friends. My straight friends are great, they're really important to me. I just feel like it would be good for me to have more friends in general, and LGBT friends in particular.

    When I told a friend about this he reminded me that I used to be friends with a lesbian/bi (I don't know, I just know she's not straight) girl when we went to school together. We kind of lost touch but he's still friends with her so it would be easy to get in contact if I wanted to. I had thought about reaching out to her before but it feels kind of... indecent (?) to want to get back in touch just because of her sexuality. I mean, I'm really curious and I would love to hear more about her coming out story and all that but I feel like I have no right to ask because we're not friends anymore. It would feel weird to text her and go "I've noticed we're both queer, wanna hang out and talk about it?". You know what I mean?

    What do you think? How would you feel if a former friend you never knew was bi suddenly reached out to you and suggested meeting up because they want to connect to other LGBT people? I don't want it to seem like I'm reducing her to her sexuality but to be perfectly honest, even though we used to get along really well, I probably wouldn't be thinking about getting in touch if I didn't know that she's not straight.
     
    #1 Mariana, Aug 2, 2016
  2. Embi

    Embi Guest

    It depends on the reason why you aren't friends anymore.
    If you stopped being friends because your interests weren't the same anymore and you didn't have much in common, I don't think it makes sense to try again. You could only talk about lgbt+ stuff and that shouldn't be the only reason to be friends with someone.
    If it was distance or you were too lazy to maintain the friendship, then why not? I wouldn't tell her that you're only thinking about this because she's queer though, she might be offended by that. But you could tell her that you'd like to get in touch again and then casually mention that you are bisexual. Maybe she knows other queer people as well and can introduce you to them. And maybe you guys really bond over something (it doesn't have to be the lgbt+ community) and realise how sad it is that you lost touch in the first place.
    I for instance kind of regret that I didn't keep in touch with some people in my life just because we went to different schools.
     
    #2 Embi, Aug 3, 2016
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