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Is he messing around?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Yuteno, Aug 6, 2016.

  1. Yuteno

    Regular Member

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    5 weeks ago I met somebody I'd known from college at a training session. We hadn't spoke in over 6 years but got on really well. At the end of the training session he asked for my number and came on really strong for several days.

    He asked if he could take me for a drink and we went out and gelled really well. Following that we went on a few dates. After each date he messages me to say how much he enjoyed it.

    Between it seems like he is almost not there. One day he can be texting non stop and then he'll go silent for a several days before suggesting meeting again. Should I be hearing from him? Or am I being needy?

    It seems like it's all on his score and I only hear from him when he wants to do meet up and do something not the other way around.
     
  2. Connorcode

    Connorcode Guest

    I'd expect to here from him consistently without a reason why he wouldn't.

    You could be honest, admit that you feel that you're only meeting when it's convenient for him - and that your conversations are always on his terms. Any relationship is a two-way one and neither person should be completely controlling how you do things when you're together.

    Then again, maybe he just likes to be in control or is a really busy guy :slight_smile: It sounds like you need to chat and find and sort out what's going on between meets.
     
  3. robclem21

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    Are you taking initiative to message him, and he is just not responding, or are you just getting annoyed that there is inconsistency on his part? If you aren't making much of an effort, I don't think its fair to get upset with him.

    Alternatively, maybe there is a reason he is slower on some days. Perhaps work? family? friends? Other duties that take up more of his time. I assume after a few dates you have an alright idea what he does on a day-to-day basis so maybe something has to do with that.

    Finally, how physical do you get on these dates. If you have sex every time then it would make more sense that he is doing this when he is interested/in the mood. However, if you are just having normal dates without giving him what he wants physically, it seems less likely he'd be doing this around only when he is in the mood to hangout. If its the first, try not sleeping with him and see if that changes things. If it's the second, I think you're better of not panicking and looking for other reasons.