Hi guys, I have never made any post or tell anyone that I am a homosexual, because I fear losing friends and cutting relationship ties with someone else. This is my first time actually seeking help and advice because something really bad happened, and right now I am sure that all I need is an emotional and mental support, because I start blaming myself for ever telling her (my friend). My friend and I have been talking a lot ever since we met and we actually became "bff". We share all our secrets ranging from family problems to schoolworks and homework difficulties. But I have never come out to her because I don't feel like I have confidence and I am scared of not being able to handle her reaction. Yesterday, I told her who I truly am. I thought she was going to be all supportive and say something like "it doesn't matter, I am glad that you have told me". Instead, it ended up with "that's a deal breaker for me, sorry we cannot be friends anymore". That was my first time telling anyone who I truly am because I felt confident and I was sure she was going to have my back. But because that happened, I don't think I have the bravery to tell anyone anything about my true self anymore, and I am so scared right now that she will spread this secret of mine around to every one else who I know, which made me super afraid of checking messages and opening Facebook etc.. I can feel that I can't handle the pain and the emotions, and I have to express them out, so I came here to seek help from every one... Moreover, I was filling out my college application, and I met this column that says "We are culturally diversified and we would like you to be honest with yourself and show us who you truly are, whether you are of different race, sexual orientation etc.." Now I fear filling that in and I might consider skipping it because it's optional.. Plus, my mom checks my college application and I don't want her to know that... I am desperate in need for emotional and mental support T^T.... ---------- Post added 6th Aug 2016 at 04:20 PM ---------- I'd be happy to see anyone share their experiences here
Hi myhiddenside, I'm really sorry this happened to you. It really hurts when you lose a person you thought was a good friend. On the note of your college application. If you are sure that your mom is going to look at your college application, and you aren't ready to come out to her, it is worth some serious thought. There is nothing wrong with not being ready to come out. Everyone takes their own pace. It isn't being dishonest with the college, or with anyone, if you don't necessarily describe your sexual orientation for them. I saw some similar questions on college applications.
Hey. I'm sorry you lost a friend but if she isn't able to accept you for who you are then she isn't worth your time. I personally thought I would loose one of my closest friends when I came out because she openly admits that lesbians/bisexuals/pansexuals make her uncomfortable, but when I told her she was fine with it- barely even said anything about it and I'm really sorry that your friend wasn't like that. Moreover I'm afraid to tell my dad, because he is very old fashioned and while he has said he's okay with LGBTQ+ I am still a bit nervous about telling him. If you ever need some emotional help or just want to chat feel free to shoot me a message
I know how it hurts. But if they can’t accept you then you don’t need them. Maybe though you could try explaining some things to them.
A "deal-breaker?" Being a true friend is not a "deal", a contract with stipulations. And if she runs around broadcasting your personal business, she would obviously do it to others and people will recognize it. You didn't lose a friend. You lost an acquaintance. No, she was in fact a stranger. Someone you really didn't know. Sure, it breaks your heart, but trust me, you DO have real friends who will stand by you. Those who don't are more weak and insecure than you would ever imagine - and believe me, they ALL have secrets. It won't be easy, but it will be OK. And the best part, you will actually make new friends - gay, straight and everything in between. And they will be true friends.
