I want to make my parents happy

Firstly, let me just say that you should never put yourself down like you have. Every parent has to come to understand their child(ren) and part of being a teenager is making that transition - from who you were then to who you choose to become.

You've done the right thing - well done by the way - in telling them, because that a huge advantage to you and your parents. If you're open and honest with them, unafraid of making them unhappy, they will be able to help you. Believe me, they appreciate the communication because they're afraid - like all parents - of letting go, giving you control over your life.

Little things like your hair are fixed easily and quickly. The journey you and your parents will go on to understanding who you want to and will become won't be over so quick but with mutual help and support you'll come out of it so strong.

Three key messages: be honest and open with your parents, accept that it's perfectly fine to put yourself before your parents sometimes (to make sure you're happy), and don't underestimate how much your parents love you and want you to be happy. Most parents would give anything for their children and I'm certain it's no different for you.

Good luck and I'll be here to help whenever; just message me on my wall

 

First, you are not a disaster. You are an amazing, valuable, and strong young man. Don't ever tell yourself any different.

Parents can be tough, and while they mean well, sometimes they don't get it. But in time, they will. You've taken a big step to start talking about your gender struggle with them.

With something like a haircut, sometimes you just have to demand your way. It is your hair, and it's ridiculous for other people to force you to look a certain way. Eventually, your parents will get over the new hairstyle. And especially if they see that short hair makes you happier, they may be more open.

Parents want what is best for their children. If they have decided to send you to a private school, they are aware of the cost and have decided to do this for you despite that. Do not feel guilty concerning this matter. Instead, show your appreciation for this gesture by working hard whilst there, yeah?

I would recommend, as Connorcode suggested, keeping an open line of communication with them. You are a primary source of information on gender identity - educate them. Often, confusion and resistance is due to simple ignorance on the matter. Explaining what you're going through, and how things like a new haircut help you feel more confident and happy with yourself, are steps you can take to move you further in your transition.

I know it's hard right now. But you can and will get through this.

 

Your thought process is exactly the same as mine except for the situation. I'm always worried about not being the best daughter I can be because I have caused a lot of problems for both my parents, my mom fought the doctors and school for me multiple times. I had also felt my relationship with my parents stretching, but I both really wanted that relationship back with also being the best daughter I could be.

After researching like crazy I came up with several facts one being so obvious I missed it: my parents can't read my mind, they don't know what I'm going through, but they care for me.

After gathering some courage I waited until I could speak with the parent I'm most comfortable with and I told her straight out what I was feeling. That I felt our relationship was disappearing and that I was felt like I was not being the best daughter that I could be and how I wanted to be a better daughter, but be myself (summarized over a couple conversations).

You could tell ,or write a letter and give it to them, your parents exactly what you're feeling about how you're struggling. This might help them understand. The fact that you think you need to be a better daughter points to the fact that you're most likely a great daughter. I've gone through the same doubts about being a disaster and being guilty about it (and I still do). Though if you ask your mom if she thinks this I'm pretty sure she'd disagree.

If you ever need someone to ask to about this just post on my wall. We could talk.

P.S. You sound like a wonderful person.

 

Great point from logansarah ... parents can't read your mind.
You've started the flow of open communication already and you should be very proud of that. And you're only 14! wow!

It's a parent's job to worry about their child, no matter what the child's age or gender is.
Even if you weren't experiencing the pain, discomfort and dysphoria that you are - they would almost certainly find other things to worry about. (e.g. your sex life, the people you are friends with, your general safety when not at home).
It's not your burden to worry about their worries.
It sounds like you are sensible enough and care about your parents enough to not be totally reckless with your safety - and I bet they're proud of you for that.

They obviously love you very much and want the best for you.
They're willing to spend some money to send you to a private school so you can get the best education possible. Whether or not you think you are worthy of such an expense, they definitely think you are!
If you don't want to go to a private school (for reasons other than not feeling worthy), talk to them about your concerns.

Another thing that might help is to realise that your parents are human.
Either all humans AREN'T perfect, or all humans ARE perfect. Either way, your parents are just as perfect as you are.
There are things they might not understand yet because they've never had reason to (until now), they might say the wrong things in the wrong way because they don't know any different. They probably understand you just as much as you understand them.

Please also know that, even if they don't say 'I love you' or 'I'm proud of you' enough to make you believe it whole heartedly, I'm almost certain that they do and are.