My ex and I were together for 2 years. We broke up a year ago because he cheated on me. A year has passed and we began talking again recently. We have a great time when we are together and the feelings are coming back. We both had relationships in our time apart but they were nothing like what we had. We have discussed the possibility of getting back together but I want to be friends first. I haven't told him but I do want to get back together. i am not sure how to tell my family or my close friends. They were with me after the break up. They helped me get through it. They are not his biggest fans due to what he did. Any advice?
Hm well I haven't been in a relationship, but I have had a friend get back with a cheating ex before. No matter how much he's grown I believe you should be wary of someone who cheats it can't be said they won't cheat again. I would say just talk to your close Family and friends, maybe say "Remember so-and-so? I've been talking with him again and we were thinking of getting back together." see what they're take is on it, but overall it is about your own happiness. That's just my two cents take it how you will I hope everything works out in the end for you!
This is always a difficult situation. Did he tell you why he cheated on you? If he did it because of insecurity, then maybe he can change. If he did it because of lust, then I don't think I would give him another chance. It's hard to tell but, he may be after you again because he knows you'd be willing to give him another chance. It's possible that he has no one and he knows that you are the type of person who is forgiving. I don't know if this is for sure. I just think it's wise to really think about this.
According to him, he cheated on me for two reasons. 1. He thought I was too good for him so he slept around [doesn't make too much sense] 2. I worked too much (70+hrs) and he felt lonely. This was always with random guys and not romantic. I feel like the typical dumb guy writing this nut I feel he wouldn't do that again. When we started talking again, we both had boyfriends. He decided to break up with his because they weren't right for each other. I broke up with mine for reasons completely not related to my ex.
Both of his reasons stem from insecurity and a need for reciprocity. As for insecurity, he might need to talk to a counselor about that. 70 hours a week is an extremely demanding workload, so you really need a partner who can handle the separation without cheating on you. So, what do you think will stop him from not cheating again? You can't change his behavior, but you can change yours. Could you have more personal time?
I know he didn't cheat at all in his last relationship but I don't know If he'd cheat again. I don't think he would but I still worm 70+ hours. I remember he used to get aggravated by the fact that I worked so much but I never understood. During my last relationship the guy I was with worked a lot too and we did not have much time for each other.thats when I saw how it can be aggravating. I honestly don't feel ready to work less hours buy I know I will be one day... ---------- Post added 11th Aug 2016 at 08:47 PM ---------- Ps. The fact that I am working so many hours by choice is what got to him too. I honestly could work 50 hours and quit my second job....I just can't get myself to quit it. I love that job. It is honestly my dream job even though it doesn't pay too much [it's my part time ]
Well, you have to admit that choosing to spend time at work and not home means you do prioritize that. You can't argue with people who think that even 40 hours a week is too much.
