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Family Troubles and trying to figure things out

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by lostboy94, Aug 12, 2016.

  1. lostboy94

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    So I think I figured out why I was (and still kinda am) living in shock of my parents reaction to me coming out. I always thought that coming out had two extremes for reactions: the good, yes we accept you all is good and the bad, kicked out of home, excommunicated, lost friendships. All my reactions so far have been either of these. That is with the exception of my parents. My parents and I are stuck in a dark gray area of tense conversations, being called by my birth name (or in dads case using that as a punishment), them referring to me as wrong pronouns and threats of excommunication. This shocked me as I thought it was going to be one of the two extremes. In particular I was expecting to be shunned. Twoish years on the current don't talk about it, don't come out to anyone peace treaty has continued. Does this realization change anything? No. I'll still live my life as I have; coming out in secret, not bringing anything up, holding my tongue at there transphobic bigotry. However I am going into my senior year of college. I know this treaty is going to break when they finish paying for my college as I graduate and they have nothing to hold over my head. I don't know if this will make sense to anyone. If it does do any of you live in this weird gray area? How do you deal with it?
     
  2. Shorthaul

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    I think I would take a sea of grey than the worse outcome... I mean at least you still have a roof over your head and an education. Personally, if I was in your place, I would have my eyes squarely on the diploma and graduation. That's the end goal and that is the ticket out of the grey and into the light. One year left, that's a cake walk at this point.

    Admittedly I do enjoy rocking the boat and upsetting people, but I pick my fights. This would be a fight I would let float by and get revenge by completing the task and being happy after. Cause when my happiness or success makes someone else upset or grumpy, that is the sweetest of victories.

    I haven't been in the grey to often, but I keep my head down and focus on the end result. I hope that helps.
     
  3. lostboy94

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    It does. I'm stuck on a family vacation right now. It's been rough. Keeping my head down is very hard. I'm trying though and your message gave me a bit of a boost.
     
  4. Shorthaul

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    Can you drive a 10 speed transmission? I'll switch places with you, cause I could really use a vacation.

    I have some family that really need to be sat down and lectured about how ignorant some of their views are. And that some of those views are harmful to others. Alas, they are too dense to be lectured so I bite my tongue and ignore them. So I understand how hard it can be, even that gets a little easier to deal with as time goes by.