Scared by how bad I want a relationship.

Honestly, I hate how much I have been obsessing over this. I'm going to vent a little, so bear with me (please).

I came out to my family in January and have since been coming out to more and more people. Ever since I came out, I guess I have had unrealistic expectations. Don't get me wrong, I am so happy I have come out. I'm in the best place mentally that I could be (in terms of sexuality). I am comfortable with who I am and not ashamed to be gay.

However, I was naive and expected this whole dating thing to come "easy." I expected to be going on dates and find myself in a happy relationship soon after coming out. However, I was completely wrong. I have been on two dates and they led nowhere - there was just no sparks or distance was just too much to deal with.

I think a main problem is I'm limited to apps at this point. I am not old enough to go to bars, which maybe isn't the best way to meet guys but it is a social setting. I have T-i-n-d-e-r, which causes me more stress than anything. I have 300 matches, yes 300, but have had no luck. Guys don't message me back or aren't looking for something serious. I'm realizing the app is a game for most people and not something they take seriously. G-r-i-n-d-r, yeah, no thanks.

Another problem is, I have no gay friends. I don't know where to meet people who are like myself. My college is very small and the LGBTQ+ community is very small so that is really not an option.

This brings me to the whole point of this point, which is: I can't stop getting sad over the fact that I'm struggling to meet guys. It seems like when I'm interested in a guy, he is not interested. I just expected this all to come so easily and it's not. I lack relationship experience, but have always been a hopeless romantic and very much want to know the feeling of love. This scares the crap out of me because I don't want to get desperate and go with any guy interested me.

In general, I don't want to obsess over this (like I am now) because it's just stressing me out and lowering my already low confidence. I feel like there is something wrong with me. Also, I'm 20, which is still very young and I can't really answer why I want a relationship so bad? Maybe my lack of experience makes the idea of a boyfriend so intriguing?

Has anyone ever experienced this bad desire to be in a relationship? What helped you when dealing with this? Additionally, what are good ways to meet gay guys (for friends or even something more serious)? The whole app thing is really not working for me and I would prefer to delete them.

Any advice would be appreciated, thank you.