So I came out to my best friend who lives a few hundred miles away. She said she doesn't support it, but she loves me and we're still practically sisters. After that we didn't really talk about me being gay. As I have become more comfortable with being gay and have come out to more people, it comes up a little more when we're talking. Recently, I have been going to gay clubs with friends. I'm not a big club person, so I usually chill and text my best friend. I am more willing to talk about being gay and mentioning that one cute girl or that hot chick trying to get me to dance. I guess it made her uncomfortable or something. I don't really know. She doesn't respond to any of my texts or snapchats anymore. I've seen that she's still very active on snapchat and other social media, but I feel like she's ignoring me. I hope this isn't the reason because that would be bullshit. She has done way worse things than me being gay which isn't even a bad thing. I'm just frustrated and I don't know what to think. I asked her if there was a reason she hasn't been texting back or anything and I got no response. She hasn't talked to me in a month. I just want my best friend back, but I don't know why she's not talking to me.
First thing I wanna say is some people will probably come on here and be like "she wasn't even your friend if she can't accept it" "better off now" "Shes just a toxic person" etc. Well, I understand what you mean. It's a great friend of yours you've known a long while! Anyone who says shes not is just trying to "help you" but making you forget important people to you. You say she is you best friend, maybe you wanna reconsider who's your "best" one and than back away from her. Just stop talking to her, if she starts asking you why or finally responds to your stuff than chat with her and try to make things good between you, if she never contacts you than just remember her as one amazing person you use to know, but that life has changed.
I'm so sorry that she is being this way. I'm not trying to sound harsh, but she does not seem like a good friend at all. She seems very insecure. Before I had any idea that I liked women, my best friend at the time admitted that she was in love with me. She hurt so much because I did not return the feelings, and I was also in a relationship with a boy. I was already having slight feelings of being bisexual, but I was happy with my boyfriend. But even though she loved me and had very strong sexual feelings towards me, that did not stop me from being her friend. In fact, it kinda brought us closer, for a while at least. I talked to her every single day for 5 months. I would even ignore my boyfriend's calls for her. I appreciated how she felt and I felt terrible that I couldn't return the feelings. Eventually, she was too fed up with me not returning the feelings. So she started hanging out with stoners and basically stopped calling me. Your "friend", if that's what I should call her, is probably in shock and doesn't know how to process this information. I would text her and say, "I really don't know what I did. I didn't want to be this way, but I really miss my best friend. If you ever truly cared about me, you wouldn't let this come between us." If she doesn't respond, then she is not at all worth your time. It's so easy for me to assume that she is a shitty person for treating you this way, since I don't know her. Why would you consider her your best friend? I would love to hear some memories you two shared.
No, sorry, this person is a schmuck and doesn't deserve your time. You don't need to suffer several years so that she can "get comfortable" w the idea. Move on, and save yourself the heartache. This is the sad part about coming out and it's generally inevitable.
I wouldn't call her a schmuck. She is still my best friend and i want her in my life and i want her to be ok with me being gay and to be ok with me talking about girls and shit. She is very religious so i can understand where she is coming from when she says she doesn't support but still loves me. What's strange is that she seemed fine with it until i actually started talking about it and "acting" on it. When i started being more open is when she stopped talking to me. So yeah i'm kinda mad at her right now. We know everything about each other. We spent everyday after school together and slept over at each others houses, alternating homes every weekend. When she told me her family was moving we spent 3 days and nights straight together just hanging out and talking about shit. I love her. She's my sister and i don't want me being gay to come between us. It all just sucks. She's the only friend that has actually stopped talking to me since coming out.
I would say give her time. I had a friend that was religious too, and didn't approve of homosexuality. She eventually got more comfortable with the idea of homosexuality (of course she remained straight, but was more supportive later). I don't know if that will happen to your friend though. I'm not comfortable with religion in the same way my friend wasn't comfortable with homosexuality, so we made the rule that she wasn't going to talk about religion if I wasn't going to talk about my sexuality. It eventually felt too limiting for both of us.
Just give her some space, maybe try again around Christmas. People are always in a better mood around Christmas LOL But don't just give up entirely on her, it takes a long time to grow old friends.
It's hard when a friend is not accepting. Basic tolerance is really a low bar. The reason she was fine before is because she hasn't had to deal with you being "a real lesbian". Unfortunately, it is her choice to not support you, so she has to be the one who changes her mind. What you are doing is not wrong, and if she is going to always be upset when you want to talk about girls and dating, then you may need to limit your interactions (or topics) with her. Things aren't going to change quickly, but in the meantime you should find friends, both LGBT and straight, who are going to be interested in you expressing your orientation. Don't bottle things up or feel ashamed. Love and attraction are natural, no matter what gender/orientation.
