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I screwed up!

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by IamCasey, Aug 21, 2016.

  1. IamCasey

    Full Member

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    Location:
    Georgia, USA
    Spent a couple of nights with my best friend. We got to talking and he kind of cornered me about seeing me looking at guys a lot longer than I should. And about me not having a GF. Told me if I had something to say we would still be friends. No mater what!

    So I told him I thought, maybe I was gay but had never done anything. We talked until like 2 am and he seemed cool about it. Saturday we went to the mall with my big brother and one of his friends. At the mall I let my guard down a little in front of my friend and was looking at some hot guys. Not staring, just checking them out. He got really quiet and did not say much until last night when we were getting ready for bed.

    Then he came out with "Seriously, You like guys older than us?" I said "Yes" And he called me a perv, that I probably wanted to do it with old men also. I tried to explain that I just liked guys older than us not that much older. He got quiet and we did not talk the rest of the night. This morning he barely spoke at all. As I pack my back pack he told me that he wouldn't tell anyone but that he did not think we could be friends anymore

    When I got home and was talking to my big brother about it, my friend called, apologized and said that it just kind of shocked him. My brother told me to believe him and take it a day at a time and see how things go. And to be more discreet when I check a guy out!

    Should I have just kept my mouth shut and not told my friend?
    Should I trust him now?
    And then there is the discreet issue I have. When I see a hot guy, I try to look away but my brain seems to go in slow motion.l What seems like a few seconds of looking is actually longer. I can't wear sunglasses all the time????
     
  2. Rachelmk

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Sometimes it can be difficult for a close friend to adjust to learning that their friend is gay. It takes a little while, because it causes them to reevaluate a lot of things that have occurred in their friendship. Not saying it's right, but it does happen often. I firmly believe that your sexuality is your business, and who you choose to tell is your business as well. But someone you consider your best friend should be able to accept you for who you are without making inappropriate comments of such a nature (after all, I bet he's attracted to women older than him too!). I would give him some time to adjust to it, but if he doesn't adjust his attitude, you might want to consider pulling away from him. But don't lose hope; people can surprise you.

    As for the discretion problem, I get where you're coming from haha. Sometimes when a hot person comes up, you can't help but look. But being able to control yourself is an important part of being able to continue checking people out, else you might make them uncomfortable. I'm sorry I can't offer more help on that front, just be careful!

    All the best to you, and good luck with your friend.
     
  3. lesbian123

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    kansas
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    I had this issue when I came out to my friends and it's difficult but most of the time you just have to let them think about it a little bit and then they will be okay about it