Throughout our relationship, my opposite-sex partner has nearly always initiated sex by play fighting first. So, when we're in bed he'll just try to start a play fight, rather than being affectionate. To be honest, I've always found it a bit annoying and odd. At times it just feels like a show of strength. I just wondered how normal it was and whether anyone else did this?
I'm a fan of play fighting or wrestling, regardless of attraction. So I'm pretty sure in a relationship it'd be a turn on for me. I also know other couples that play fight. I really think it's an individual preference. However it should be a shared preference. If one person is annoyed or uncomfortable it should stop. I find it odd if you don't like it so much, how your partner doesn't pick up on that. I know guys can sometimes be more childish or rough in displays of affection but if this is the only way he shows it, could be possible emotional immaturity on his part.
Be honest and say you find it annoying. Foreplay is normal, but I have come to believe that doing the same thing over and over again can get boring. I agree that it depends on both partners agreement, not one partner always deciding. You might even ask why your partner wants to play fight. You may not get a full answer (we all have behaviors that are hard to explain), but it may help him to reconsider in the future how he shows he is in the mood.
Is it indicative of something more profound than bedroom antics? I mean to each their own but I personally wouldn't be a fan of that.
Thanks for your replies. It's interesting that there's a mix of opinions. I'm not a fan of it. To me it always feels like there's a power element to it, like holding my ankles so that I can't remove his grip. I think it's because I've told him that it annoys me so many times, it now comes across as purposefully trying to annoy me.
You should be in control of your life, and that includes your sex life. So, if you don't like what he is doing, he must respect it.
Regardless of sex or orientation, respecting your partner, including in the bedroom, is key to a healthy relationship. What you describe doesn't sound healthy. Is he aware you REALLY don't like it, if so, and he continues, then he's being horrible and his behaviour could even be classed as abusive. Talk to him, and if it doesn't change, you should consider whether this relationship should continue. Are there any other areas of your life he likes to control or where he overrides your wishes?
Everyone has their own preferences. If you're not comfortable, maybe try talking about it with him a bit? Out of curiosity, why does your orientation say lesbian if you're apparently in a committed sexual relationship with a man?
Thanks for all your replies. All my threads put together kind of cover that, but I wouldn't read them unless you're incredibly bored! :icon_bigg
