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Should I forgive my homo-phobic brother?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by GayBatman, Aug 23, 2016.

  1. GayBatman

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    My younger brother (19 years old) has autism. Like high funtioning autism. When he gets upset he calls me "ass faggot". He learned that from my former step father. He called me faggot instead of my name. My bro also says "people aren't born gay" and "why would anybody be gay?" I'm not out to him at all. I mean, he has autism, but should I forgive him?
     
  2. Kodo

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    That's sad. While autism is a factor in his behaviour, it is not an excuse for him to be rude. Perhaps the best thing you could do is to talk to him about it, and how that is not an acceptable or kind thing to call someone.

    I think that yes you should forgive him. But also, try to steer him away from that if you can. If he won't listen or understand, then you did what you could and I don't see any point in dwelling on it.

    I don't know your brother, but probably he just needs to be educated. Statements like "nobody is actually gay" is usually the result of being around homophobic people (especially family members) and automatically adopting the popular mindset.

    One straight of autism is having difficulty understanding when something is not socially acceptable, so one tends to speak their thoughts quite bluntly. That said, having a frank conversation with him about what is bothering you might help, as he may not pick up on your discomfort otherwise.
     
    #2 Kodo, Aug 23, 2016
    Last edited: Aug 23, 2016
  3. Exodia

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    I don't think you should forgive him because he's autistic but for the fact that he only learnt the slurs which means he doesn't trully believe what he says. You could explain to him that what he says is offensive and explain to him how being gay is not a choice.
     
  4. JonSomebody

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    Well...due to him being autistic, I think I would handle the situation by sitting him down and having a heartfelt talk and discussion about the matter since its sounds as if he picked this up from your former stepfather. So, perhaps, this is the angle you should consider taking for handling this. You know...this has certain similarities that if you heard a young nephew or niece saying something that they picked up from someone in their home and yet, its not really their fault because they were just picking up what they've heard. Then you would take it upon yourself to sit them down and tell them not to keep saying whatever and explaining why its a bad thing to say. Whatever you decide though...best wishes...JS