1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Help With A Homo/Transphobic Mother?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Dairespilo, Aug 23, 2016.

Thread Tools

Thread Tools

  1. Dairespilo

    Dairespilo
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2016
    Messages:
    14
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Tucson
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Out Status:
    Some people
    It seems that I have been cursed with being born to a seriously homophobic and transphobic mother who has a hard time dealing with the fact that I am both trans and gay. No matter what evidence I might use to support my claim, she dismisses it through her so-called "scientific reasoning" by repeatedly telling me that my dysphoria and my identity is simply just a chemical imbalance in my brain, and refuses to see my point of view or ANY facts I may use. She also ignores my argument with the fact that she's older than me and is apparently more experienced when it comes to trans things (even though she's a straight, cis woman). I know this is rather long, but she upsets me and is the basis for my self-hatred and depression and I would like help with dealing with her. She is also mentally abusive, and while I won't go into specifics, I would like to say that it is emotionally draining and damaging.

    I have tried to come out as trans to her at least three times, but at this point, I'm certain that perhaps she will never get over it.

    I guess what I'm really asking for is help or advice on how to deal with a situation like this? I want to run-away even though I know it's not the answer. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

    Thank you,

    Percy
     
    #1 Dairespilo, Aug 23, 2016
  2. BenFreeman

    BenFreeman
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2016
    Messages:
    167
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    south of north
    Its really difficult when such a fundamental part of your identity is rejected by the ones you love. The fact is that if she doesn't change her attitude, you will probably start to feel distanced from her. I would urge you to hang on to the fact that ultimately it is you, not her that has to accept your identity. You are now at the brink of adulthood, and the truth is that here is the moment where you have to define yourself, and know that that is your truth, even if other people don't accept it.

    I wouldn't argue with her then. Because actually if she doesn't agree, it isn't your problem. Your problem is that you have to be you, and that you need to find people, a social circle that accepts you just like that. If she doesnt want to be a part of that, well its gonna hurt, but ultimately you dont have to take it on yourself. You don't HAVE to convince her. And you dont HAVE to 'give in' to her arguments either. Step out of the arguments, and let her go. You have a life to live. Just live it.
    I know its easier for me to type these words than it is for you to follow them, but that is where freedom begins.

    Strength
     
    #2 BenFreeman, Aug 24, 2016
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)