Any kind of help and advice is really appreciated. So since 3rd grade, I had feelings for my best friend, they weren't as strong as if of now. However I never felt so attracted to him. When I was 3rd grade I thought that I felt those feelings cause we were really close friends. In 6th grade he got a girlfriend and ending 7th grade why broke up cause she leaves the city and probably other reasons. However during 8th grade it just seemed my feelings towards him skyrocketed, I didn't know why, since then I have crush on him a lot. The thing is that I need help to determine if he feels the same towards me, I really want to know if he loves me or not, however I have no clue and that's why I posting this. Before having this strong feelings for him, I was Ina relationship with my ex-girlfriend. Back then I didn't accept that I loved him cause it seem so strange to me. During my relationship with my ex, I was really hurt, she didn't do anything bad to me, but I was lying to myself cause I didn't liked her like I loved him. Around February it was when I felt this, I began to have really strong feelings, I already had them but this time they were bigger. I finally accepted that I love him as well. His birthday came and I was feeling really nervous of congratulating him, I did and I was planing on giving him a hug but I never did, he was the one who actually hug me, I was really shocked. May is were things got cool. I finally broke up with my ex. I finally told my childhood girl friends that I really loved him, they seem really cool with it and helped me with it. The day after I broke up with my ex, I told my girl friend that I finally made the decision. She then tell me that she will give the news to my crush, I told her not to do it but she didn't care. She told him and I was nervous he looked at me and hugged me, for no obvious reason, I didn't expected it. He then told me that he will never let me go. I was really petrified. That same month we went on a field trip. It was a chaos in the bus, just for fun I greeted everyone by messages some of them respond and some of them not. My crush actually replied. We talk and what not, he then eventually told me at I was his first love since I met him but I didn't wanted to tell you. I replied to him that I have always love him. I don't know if he really meant it but it felt good. In the same chat he asked me out. I agreed. My girl friend then told me that it was his idea to invite me to the movies with them. Since the field trip each time we entered the classrooms he looked at me, eventually I asked why did he looked at me, he replied "I don't know", I smiled back at him. Then we got his special class, I had already finish my work and I was sitting there, we had to delivered the work to the teacher. He took his work and mine's, I told him that it wasn't necessary but he did it anyways. Time passed and he got into an argument with one of his girl friends, I never knew what was about. But he came that he was homosexual and that he loved me, I was right beside him and I thought to myself that ain't true there's a lot of people here to come out. I was really happy. My girl friend ask him that if he really love me and he replied to her that he didn't. I was really sad and depressed, but I guess it was too good to be true. His and mine girl friend ask him later that if he really like me, he say that he sore of loved me. But she told me that she wasn't sure if he really did or not. Time passed and during that time he flirted with me and I saw like a bromance way and not like a true love, I didn't wanted to believe lies. In the last day of 8th grade I hugged him while I was seating with him just for the sake of it, he didn't saw a problem with it and while he hugged me back and caress while he did. Honestly I'd don't have a clue if he does it because he truly loves but doesn't want to accept it or because we are really good friends and it's a real hassle, dealing with the doubt really damages me and I really want to know.
