If you don't know, skin hunger is when you feel like you need to hug someone or cuddle with people a lot. Most people who suffer from this didn't receive as much affection as they needed when they were younger or just don't receive enough affection now, and while this won't necessarily make you needy within a relationship or reclusive- I am certainly neither of those things!- it can severely damage your mental and physical health by making you more likely to think depressing thoughts, more likely to become paranoid or feel you're worthless, or a whole number of things... I found this article and think it has some great ideas and a great explanation for what "Skin Hunger" is. As you read, I want you to ask yourself if you or anyone you know has "Skin Hunger" and what you can do to help yourself or them. :/ This is a bit of a support thread for this sort of thing, so nobody should be embarrassed to talk about it. I feel this issue would especially hurt minorities and people in countries that tell you to always be independent. Being independent is great, but everyone should learn to lean on others from time to time: Skin Hunger: 3 Compelling Ways to Overcome Loneliness - Self Development Workshop For Introverts
My only thing is I don't know what to do about it. :/ I mean, I can't just ask people to cuddle, can I? That's weird... *Sigh* Maybe if I had close friends that would help, but I haven't had real friends since my godmother died...
I definitely have this. Luckily though, I have some close friends that are willing to cuddle. But I can tell you, it is OK to ask a friend you are reasonably close to to cuddle. But sometimes it's hard to find someone who also wants to cuddle someone, but if you can find someone like that it's the best.
Yeah, this is me as well, getting worse as I get older. I come from a family where feelings were never discussed and affection was basically a dirty concept. I've also been alone for most of the past 10 years now too and it's basically become my identity, rather than a person who is experiencing loneliness. The worst times are trying to sleep at night, topped only by when I wake up early in the morning still drowsy and can't get out of bed. Just want someone to wrap myself around and go back to sleep.
I am so glad you have brought this up. In fact, this is an area with a rich history in psychological research. The evidence is very clear that touch is highly correlated to well being and health, mental and physical. And by "touch" we do not refer to sexual behavior, per se. Harry Harlow's study (mentioned in the link) is a famous one that is often cited. Harlow used monkeys. There are also many, many studies regarding touch and human contact in the elderly. Want some proof? Watch this child with autism and down syndrome interact with a professional: https://www.facebook.com/specialboo...1976210904363/737946002974049/?type=2&theater Your web link starts out with the observation that "Someone may have over a thousand Facebook friends but only one real friend they could speak to regarding personal issues." I know two people who fit this description and who complain about being lonely and depressed. The reason is that facebook's design has hijacked the word "friend" and re-purposed it for something completely different (on facebook, the word "friend" actually means "audience"). In fact, you can. This can be difficult to find, but from time to time people want this kind of "date." In fact, there are at least two threads on EC I am aware of, where two guys have plenty of non-sexual physical contact like this, even though one of them claims to be "straight." This indicates to me that people do crave touch, and it comforts them in ways that go far beyond arousal. The configuration of modern culture has caused us to forget this important truth. It is true that you will have trouble finding ways to "do something about it." But talking about it is a good first step. It could be that on social media you could find other people who will agree with you and be interested. It's not out of the question that you might find somebody who would be interested in (platonic?) cuddle sleepovers with you. Or netflix dates or something like that. It's great that you've started a thread about this. You are not alone. Many, many people feel the same about this that you do. I feel that way. I live by myself almost all the time. While I am an introvert and do need my quiet time, I crave touch just like you do.
Thank you everyone. ^_^ It's nice seeing I am not alone, and that touch is a very normal thing to want in a non-sexual, purely comforting manner... The only issue I have is there is truly nobody I am close to who would be interested in this sort of "date", and I feel a little weird going up to random people and seeking out this strange request... Honestly, there were 2-3 people I used as pillows and cuddled with during my day at least once a week, but I think rumors are spreading about me or something because they're starting to look at me more in an uncomfortable manner... I don't know what's on their minds, but I kind of want to just stay away from them and be sad on my own I guess, until they stop looking at me like that... Still, even if I no longer have those "dates" with them, it'll probably just make it so it'll be harder for me to talk to them in the future, since at this age it seems like many people form "groups", and once you leave, you have to be re-invited to the group or be completely ignored/rejected by them... Idk, it just feels like I am no longer welcome around my peers, even if I did nothing wrong... I think this week I'll just not interact with anyone unless they approach me or it seems really appropriate, and see how that goes. ^_^ I really don't have anyone I can call my friend except my cat- some people are nice to me, but they're definitely not "friends"... they're just acquaintances, and while it's fine to cuddle with acquaintances usually, I think that rumours or some form of gossip about me must be making them uncomfortable... That, or just my behavior. :/ Either way, the only people I can interact with are uncomfortable acquaintances, so it's best for me to patiently wait to see if I find new people or if they come back I guess...
Oh god, I'm so sorry about this...I've dealt with this off and on for a long time and when it's really bad I know the awful feeling that happens. A new peer group seems to be in order for you, but that too I know is very easy to say but not to do. Sometimes, when I had that feeling pretty bad the lyrics went through my head for the Doors' tune People are Strange (here it is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJY8jJkDoMY ) All I know is that I'm enough of a geek, when it came to friends the out-of-the-mainstream types were where I looked. I know how that reputation for being weird can spread and how people can start looking at you in that way. Especially in a school environment, where there seems to be a broadcasting network everywhere. I hope you can cobble together enough human companionship soon, to avoid the worst of this feeling. I'd recommend looking in out of the way places, but maybe you're doing that already.
I totally have skin hunger. Which usually isn't as big of a problem for girls. I just used to resist physical contact in fear of not being masculine enough, even though I have almost always identified as female.
I definitely have this! I don't like when strangers actually touch me but I crave body contact with my partner. And not sexually. I just want her to touch me. I know when I was younger I used to like to cuddle with my friends. When we had dogs I would pet them but also I would just wrap myself around them just to be connected with a warm, living creature. My parents gave me lots of love and all that but they weren't really huggers or touchers. My mom would actually flinch or shy away from hugs. My skin hunger is so much so that when I was a kid I used to enjoy when flies landed on my face in church. I would close my eyes and just enjoy the tickling from the touch of their tiny feet. It seems so weird to me now I'd do that but suddenly I understand a LOT. At the same time... I like to go places by myself. I've always been super independent and impatient that way.
