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I'm so scared to see this guy again...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by VolpeSolitario, Aug 28, 2016.

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  1. VolpeSolitario

    VolpeSolitario
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    I've always wanted to be friends with a certain guy since the start of university. I was too shy to approach anyone (especially him) during the first year, so I had no friends. At the beginning of the second year I decided to actively pursue his friendship, and began to realise that I had feelings for him. I joined a society group he was in and tried to make friends with everyone. I tried to sit next to him during lectures, too.

    We were both really shy, and near the end of the year I was struggling heavily with liking him and trying to become closer to him. It felt like we still weren't friends. I decided to tell him how I feel about him at the end of the year, but he said he was straight. On the last day before summer break we couldn't look at each other.

    It's been 4 months since then. Whilst things have gotten slightly better, I'm still struggling with this. I feel sad, and usually end up crying when I think about it. Seeing his picture makes me distressed, and I'm very scared about seeing him again after the break. He's a handsome guy too - it's overwhelming. I'm not scared that he'll hurt me or anything - he's a nice and accepting guy. I just don't know how well I can take facing him. I can't really avoid him either, as he's part of the society I joined, and the people I want to become friends with are in the society too. I like everyone there.

    Maybe I'll have to face my fears. I just worry that I'll burst out crying, and I'll never be able to return to the society or become friends with him.
     
    #1 VolpeSolitario, Aug 28, 2016
  2. JonSomebody

    JonSomebody
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    Do you think that perhaps you should seek out some kind of counseling before tackling your fears which seems to me to be a result of you being painfully shy. Far as I can tell from your thread and I am just speaking on my behalf that its not really much anyone can suggest to you at this time. If you consider so far what you've shared in your post especially the part in regards to you bursting out crying when you think of him or see his picture, consider this...if this is your behavior as of now..when do you foresee you making any approach towards this guy? I mean...to me...it sounds like the both of you are so consumed shyness and fears that you could not possibly have a cordial introduction or better yet, a conversation with this guy unless you find a way to overcome them. This is why I suggest some kind of counseling in order for you to overcome your fears, etc. because if you disregard getting some kind of help/advice/suggestions, you could no doubt turn him off completely with your current behavior which can be very frustrating for the person you are trying to pursue because they are not sure where you are coming from with the behavior you are displaying. Not trying to be nasty and I hope you do not take my words that way...I am just giving you some kind of insight overall to see that there are some things you need to work on within yourself before tackling a way to gain this guy's attention. Just give it some thought. Best wishes...JS
     
    #2 JonSomebody, Aug 28, 2016
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