I want a relationship but I don't like dating?

How does one find a relationship if they dislike going on dates and dating culture as a whole?

When I mean dating, I mean the process of finding strangers to ask out. I prefer to get to know someone maybe to the point of casual friends before I feel any interest in 'dating', but usually by that time, no one is interested.

I hate to use these really stupid labels I don't believe in, but "demiromantic/sexual" seems to fit. I can notice some people look nice, but there's zero chemistry with them until we've gotten to know each other better. I know, I know "Dating is about getting to know each other better to begin with" but on a date there's pressure to feel chemistry before the night ends and to kiss the person. I can't feel any of that because I still don't "know know" them enough to feel a connection at all, and so the dates never progress further.

The kissing thing is kind of awkward, not because I'm a prude, but because of the lack of chemistry and my dislike of being touched by strangers (I don't even like being hugged by people I haven't known long) makes it a turn-off 100% of the time.

Then, if you don't kiss them they assume you're not interested and they shouldn't continue seeing you. When, in reality, if they just continued seeing me in a low pressure situation I might have felt a connection eventually. I even liked the idea of kissing on the first date with a friend I was interested in dating (and she considered dating me too, but we ended up deciding against it), so I assume this alone isn't the problem.

Another thing is that it just seems like a waste of my time and money to gamble on dates with strangers just to realize we may or may not have only one thing in common. You end up going through thousands of garbage in the dating pool, spending all that time on fancy dinners and fancy clothing just to get no result. It's frustrating considering I don't make much money to begin with and all that wasted dating money could have been going toward things I actually need to live my life. I'm 26 and still trying to save to go to college, that's how bad it is.

I'm frustrated with how bad I want a relationship while knowing how much dating is a total waste of my time. It feels like I'm only attracted to my friends (or close acquaintances), when by that time, they lose interest. Other people show interest in me if the date is immediate, but I have no interest in them and feel bored/awkward the whole time :dry:

 

Ahhh, that sounds like a good idea. I've had online relationships before, but the distance was too large for it to work. It might be a good idea for me to try with people of closer distance :

 

I totally feel the same way. The dating culture just goes way too fast for me to be interested in anyone at all. There is pressure to be attracted immediately, but attraction for me is more than just looks and basic interests that may or may not be the truth. I would prefer to just make friends first and see where it goes, but it seems like nobody wants to be with their friends(especially women for some reason)...

I actually relate to wanting the connection in person more than online. The only good thing about online relationships is the fact you can't physically touch each other, so it forces you to so slow and get to know the person before actual intimacy happens. I just wish the same thing happened in real life.