I'm in love with my bff. He's 100% straight as to my knowledge and I'm bisexual. My heart breaks every time I see him with his girlfriend. I know I should be happy for him but I can't handle that he's with somebody that's not me. I'm tired of crying over him. I tried to move on but it's just too hard. All I can think about is him and I don't want to anymore. My feelings for him are getting much more intense. Any advice would be nice.
I'm going to assume he knows you are bisexual since he's your best friend. Talk to him more about LGBT issues.If not...I would come out to him but don't tell him you have a crush on him yet. Is he single...or is he committed. If he's committed....treat him like a friend and start dating other people. If the feelings are getting intense...try hanging out and getting with other friends...but don't cut him off either. I know it's hard....cuz I'm still going through it and my best friend is married and I was his best man.
Hi Ty, what Karaoke wrote shows how hard it can be. Having been through this myself there are a few steps to begin. It can take quite a bit of time. One step that's important is figuring out how to spend some of the time now spent obsessing about the friend on another outlet. It's best if this outlet is human, not solitary. This could be a group (volunteer, social, anything of that sort) that you spend a fixed time every week on. The idea is to get out and meet other people--in a controlled fashion since you're a bit introverted. The next thing is to have some additional boundaries with your friend. What I mean by that is to decide that there are some things you'll avoid talking about. If your friend is 100% straight, then it of course would be pointless to talk to him about any interest he might have in men. If he doesn't know you're bisexual, then I think one way of moving to the next step is to tell him this. If he does know and if he supports you, then perhaps you should share with him that you're looking to form a close relationship with another guy--maybe he can help with some suggestions (but I would take this step only after you have accomplished some of the distancing I suggested. I know how hard it is to overcome an obsession with another person. It is a gradual process.
I'm already out to him. I've never dated anybody before but I'll take your advice. He's not committed with his girlfriend but they're close. ---------- Post added 1st Sep 2016 at 12:10 PM ---------- I could interact more with my coworkers and spend less time with him. I've never talked to him about men. I've talked to him about girls though. He knows I'm bisexual. He probably supports me but I'm not open with my sexuality so I'm not sure. He did say this doesn't change anything when I came out to him.
