Hi guys, my name is D! Okay first things first, I'm with a guy named 'G', and we've been official for about 2 months now (we were dating for a month beforehand). Im 20 and he's 17 (Im in Ireland, totally legal and fine etc) but Im worried about his relationship with his best friend 'E'. G has alot of 'experience' lets just say with guys, never in a relationship but you get what I mean. For myself, Im more of a relationship guy! I was in a relationship for 3 years (since 16) and only recently have moved on, and G basically was the reason for that. We have a great relationship, we get on really really well, but there is one issue that is going to keep coming up and I dont know what to do. Ever since he started secondary school (High School), he had been in love with E! E is straight (so he says anyway), and is in the same classes as G. Some things happened such as groping, trading photos etc has happened, but when G admitted to E a few years ago that he was in love with him, E said some horrible things and they stopped being friends. However, in the past year, they've become friends again and are even closer than ever. They have a proper bromance and are always flirting and joking about doing things together and it really bothers me. Myself and G are relatively still new together, so Im not expecting him to drop the L bomb on me anytime soon or anything, but I cant shake the feeling that he still has feelings for E. Everytime I bring it up, he gets upset. G often gets upset thinking about it. Just last week, G admitted that the 'feelings were coming back', for E. Which my heart just dropped because he has feelings for another guy and I dont know what to do. This is probably really confusing to read I know! Im a bit all over the place with it all, but if anyone can help then it's much appreciated! :smilewave :icon_bigg
I know you probably don't want to hear this, but it sounds like your bf is not ready for a serious relationship. It is really unfair to you to be with someone who actively admits to you that he has feelings for another guy whether he is straight or not. I think the joking around is not too big of a deal, because my straight friends often joke with me (though they are 100% definitely straight), but the fact that your bf appears to want to be with him more than you is an issue. If he is getting upset when you bring this up, to me that is a sign of immaturity since he is not willing to address a real issue that is bugging you in a relationship. I can't say whether or not anything is happening between them because I really don't know their situation, but either way I think you deserve better than someone who is half in on you while hoping their straight best friend is actually gay so they can be together. I would try one more time to address this issue and then make it clear you won't be second. If he gets angry, then just move on.
I second everything robclem said above. It's probably hard to hear, but I think you know deep down already that this isn't working. You two may get along well, but that doesn't mean you two are meant to be in a relationship.
I think robclem brought up some very good points as well. It seems like your boyfriend may have different priorities than what you have at the moment. Given your age difference of 3 years, (which is rather significant when you're in your teens and moving on to your twenties) it seems like you two are at different stages in life and have different needs. At some point, you two need to have a serious conversation about your relationship and what your goals are. If he is not willing to address your concerns about his romantic feelings towards his 'straight' friend, (which he has clearly admitted to having) then I think you need to move on. On the other hand, if your boyfriend is willing to acknowledge your concern and discuss how he feels about his 'straight' friend and about your relationship, then maybe you can come to an understanding. Although it may seem like you're being treated as 'second,' understand that your boyfriend may really be struggling to reconcile his feelings for both you and his 'straight' friend. He may be worried about losing both you and his friend.
Hi, I agree with everybody else. Time to call it a day. Plus, what amused me, was when you said a 17 year old has a lot of experience. He is a puppy. Hit some bars. You might not be into hook ups. I was. But in the same place I was hooking up with guys in a club, is where I met my bf. We have been together for 10 years and are getting married next year.
