Hey, everyone, this is my first post so I don't really know how to do this but I'm sure I'll get the hang of it. Anyways, I'm having a few problems with a large portion of my family, and my friend has this same problem but not as severe. My family is super Christian, and I don't really believe in the religion. They also don't really support LGBT things, and I'm genderfluid and I think I like girls. (My family still refers to me as "she", as that's my biological gender.) So yeah, I've come out to my two cousins, my grandma, and my parents. All my friends know and they support me but I still feel rejected. My parents and grandma are trying to force me into religion and being a straight female, but it's not who I want to be. I've told my therapist about this and we're planning to talk about it but my parents are stubborn and won't listen to a therapist. I need a way to tell them that I'm my own person and that I need their support. Anyone got any suggestions on how I can tell them respectfully..?
I came out to my mom because the boyfriend I was with at the time would call me throughout my visit with my family which made my mom suspicious and this lead to her confronting me about my sexuality. After coming out to her, she told me that she will keep what is being said between us and leave it up to me when I feel ready to tell the rest of the family. However, before I can get home good, she told everyone in my immediate family as well as the remaining relatives. My family are religious but also very homophobic because ever since this happened, for quite some years, I had no relationship what so ever with my family as well as no contact. I was abandoned and black balled from the family period. Years later, one of my siblings reached out to me and this was supposedly to be the opening for everyone to embrace and come to acceptance of my sexuality. Needless to say, this was and has not been the case. What I'm saying is that due to their religious beliefs, I am still consider the out cast of the family and still have no support from them. However, since I've been on my own for so many years, the pain has grown into strength and growth which means that it doesn't matter at this time of my life if they accept or not which stems from the fact that I am on my own, running my own life and have no need for them which is something that was initiated by them. Therefore, if you are of age where you are at an independent status to take care of yourself and they are the way you've described in your thread, then there is nothing you or a therapist can say to change their minds at this time. If they ever do decide to come around, this will have to be something that is done on their terms, not from talking in a session with a therapist. In fact, I tend to think that the therapist talk will make matters worst for you considering what you had mentioned about your family and their beliefs. In conclusion, you can address your family when you feel its an appropriate time and tell them what you feel in a respectable manner and let the cards fall where they lay. At least this way, you will had voice your concerns and they will now know where you stand. Good luck!!! and remember...RESPECT is the key word here and I say this because by being super religious....something will be said from them that may ruffle your feathers ....which is something you are going to have to anticipate will happen.
