I need advice about my relationship with my girlfriend...

Hello everyone~
I have asked my girlfriend to meet me at the vending machine in the school lobby a few times because I never get to see her. Whenever I do get to see her, she seems distracted or uninterested. I made a flower crown for her, and I wanted to meet up with her in the morning so that I could give it to her and so that she could keep it in her locker, and I am always excited to be able to see her. Well, she has never showed up or waited for me at the vending machine, and yesterday I found out why. I hadn't had any breakfast, so I went to the cafeteria to get the school's breakfast. I sat at a table in the back, and I noticed that she was sitting with her friends, and I found out that she had been doing this every day since the beginning of school. The vending machine is only about 10-15 feet away and can even be seen through the cafeteria window. She said that she gets distracted while with her friends, which only made me feel worse because it seems like they are more important to her than me and how I feel. She could have seen me through the window waiting at the vending machine everyday.
This is only the beginning, though. While we were walking through the hallway with her friends, she ignored me entirely, and on purpose, and only talked to the people in her friend group. I was thoroughly excluded, and only tagged along because I wanted to see her. Whenever she did talk to me, she was distant and uninterested, as usual. Then, another girl walked past and her eyes lit up and she lovingly embraced the girl and flirted with her, in front of me. I think that she forgot that I was there. I made a joke about it, trying not to sound hurt, but she just sarcastically laughed at me and went on ignoring me. When she saw me in the cafeteria, she hardly seemed to care. All of this happened in the course of 15 minutes, and it was like a blow to the stomach. It made me feel worthless and unwanted, and I feel like she doesn't care about me anymore.
I tried to play it off like nothing had happened, but after awhile I suddenly was hit with a feeling of depression, self loathing, sorrow, and disappointment. None of my friends seemed to notice, and at lunch I wanted to talk to my close friend, J., about it, but we couldn't discuss it because my entire friend group came to the table, including a girl (she thinks that I am her friend, but she is very toxic, rude, and disruptive, especially during class) who is seemingly homophobic. During lunch, my bottled up emotions were getting through and I almost started to have a break down, and all of the noise in the cafeteria was driving me insane. I bottled up my emotions for the rest of the school day and proceeded with classes.
Then, it was time to leave school and walk to the high school for play practice. I was fine for awhile, but during practice I started crying and having a small breakdown. Luckily, J. was there, as well as my friend B.. B. had helped me calm down and she made me feel a lot better. When I started to cry she would wrap her arms around me and tell me that it would be okay and that she understood what I was going through. She hugged me and put her arm around me so that I knew that I had someone there. After all of this had happened, I started to realize that I have feelings for her. This just added to the confusion and all of the emotions that I am/was going through. (B. is genderqueer, but doesn't mind being called female pronouns and is physically female)
I don't know what to do. :icon_sad: How should I go about this? Should I talk to her about it and see what her side of the story is? Should I just break up with her? I don't know what to do, all I know is that I am not happy in this relationship and that it is making me miserable.:help:

 

Thank you all for the advice. I sent her a skype message explaining how I felt and that we should go our separate ways. She read it, but hasn't replied.

Yes, B. (I only use initials when talking about friends to respect their privacy) is demi-pansexual. She was very open to me about it and we kinda came out to each other when the topic surfaced in a conversation. We've been friends for a few years, but I hadn't seen her in a year since she's in the grade below me. We've had a few differences and disagreements over the years, but we got over them and over that year we hadn't been in the same school, we both changed a lot. I'm planning to ask her to the school dance. :thewave:


Thanks for the kind words everyone, it really helps! (*hug*)

 

Update: She replied to my message, and it is quite clear that she never really cared. She says that she "got tired waiting for me" even though I had told her several times when my bus gets to the school. She also claims that when she did wait for me, I "took forever" so what was the point of trying? The point was that I was her girlfriend. To top that off, she said that she would rather hang out with her friends instead of meeting me for a minute, just a minute, that's all I'd ever want, because she "never sees them and she rather talk to them because I never talked to her in the past but she has her friends so wouldn't it make more sense to talk to them instead because she hasn't seen them in awhile". I cant' even deal with this anymore.

 

Very true. After the message mentioned above she said that she never even had feelings for me. Sigh. I'm over her. :eusa_doh:

Yeah, breaking up with her was the best option. She really showed her true colors and they weren't very good. I put everything I had into our short relationship, and I cared too much. I didn't love her, but I liked her genuinely and I thought she did, too. Obviously not, as she has admitted that she never even had feelings for me. :rolle:
Thank you for the encouragement! (*hug*)