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Long-time crush just came out to me!

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Not Str8 M8, Sep 2, 2016.

  1. Not Str8 M8

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    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    When I was in grade 9 I met a girl who I instantly had a crush on but at the time I was not out. We were just acquaintances at this point, yet every time I spoke to her I got butterflies. I came out later that year and it went really well. In grade 10 we became very close friends. While my crush was still present, I realized quickly through my friendship with her that she was in a fairly serious relationship with a boy. While I still had my doubts about whether or not she was straight, I realized that she and I would only be good friends, so I tried my hardest to move on. About four weeks ago she texted me to ask if I could get together with her and talk. I told her that I was just about to leave for an extended trip and we made plans for when I returned. The way that she had phrased the texts instantly sparked my imagination and my feelings for her were back with a vengence. I spent the full three weeks I was away thinking about how I would react if she came out to me. On the day we met up she put of talking about whatever she had wanted to discuss for quite some time until I finally brought it up outright. She was visably nervous as she explained to me that she had recently realized that she was feeling attraction for women. The conversation went very well and she told me how thankful she was now that she had me to talk to. I am the first and only person she has ever come out to. Now, a week away from the start of grade 11 I am nervous. I know that I shouldn't attempt to instigate a relationship with her at this point in time because I am virtually her only support in this so far, but a part of me is wondering if the reason she came out to me in the first place is becasue she likes me too. Also, in the time that I have known her she has never been single for any long period of time so a selfish side of me wants to act quickly before she is swept away by another long-term relationship. I have never had a crush on someone so intensely and for such an extended period of time before so this is uncharted territory for me. I have also never been in a romantic relationship before so I don't even really know how I would approach the matter with her. To be honest I would appreciate any and all imput I can gather from the community on this, I would really love someone to talk to. Thank you all in advance!
     
  2. RavenWing

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    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I would go for it!
    I understand how you feel! I've been where you are before.
    A few ideas to tell her how you feel:
    1.) An open discussion
    2.) A meaningful letter/note
    3.) Ask them out on a casual date, perhaps the movies?
    Just remember to stay confident! Even if she doesn't return your feelings, I am sure that you will remain great friends!(*hug*)
    I hope that this helps a bit! :icon_bigg
     
  3. Not Str8 M8

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    Wow, thank you so much for the speedy reply RavenWing. I think that you are right and that our friendship would be able to survive any awkwardness related to the expression of my feelings if they are not reciprocated. Do you have any imput about ways to approach this considering she is so new to the queer community?
     
    #3 Not Str8 M8, Sep 2, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 2, 2016
  4. RavenWing

    Full Member

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    Location:
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    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Seeing as she is very new to the community, it is definitely essential to be there for her for support. Since she has only come out to you, this means that she trusts you. I would go about telling her through an open conversation, if it was me. Take her somewhere private where no one can disrupt your conversation and open up to her about your feelings, and take it from there. Make sure that you let her know that you'll always be there to support her no matter what, even if she doesn't reciprocate your feelings for her. I'm sure that she'll appreciate that.
    (Also, perhaps you could find a few articles or websites about the LGBT community in Seattle and send them to her? When I was first coming out, just last month and most of the summer, I did a lot of research on different sexualities, gender identities, and the LGBT Community in PA. It helped a lot for me, maybe it will help her?)