Friend Mad Because I won't have sex with him

Do you know if your friend is also bi or gay?

 

Thats dangerous behaviour. It sounds like he believes you owe it to him to have sex with him.
Break the friendship. Nobody should be so pressured to have sex or be in a relationship with anybody. Its not fair. Explain to him that you do not owe him anything, tell him to get over himself and, finally, tell him you are no longer friends.

His behaviour is that of the classic 'nice guy' male... Except he is acting more in the open and more rashly. I dont wish to scare you but I feel that I have to warn you, from what you have told us, he sounds like he is a potential physical threat to your person.
He believes that he has put all this effort in being your friend, being there for you when you need him, doing you favours etc so... where is his reward? You keep playing hard to get and spurning his advances and yet you jump on the new guy like its nothing. Thats not fair! ... Well you dont owe him ANYTHING. Your friend sounds very immature indeed and I very much doubt that he is the nice guy he undoubtedly thinks he is.

Maybe I am going overboard here but, to me, this sounds like a classic case of nice guy syndrome.

 

I agree with Robert. That sounds like a red flag to me.

 

Sorry, I got that. I wasn't clear. I was headed where Robert was going, but from my perspective sometimes gay guys (no offense intended) can tend to assume 'liberties' with bi guys. That's why I asked. Either way he seems to be really rude about this.

 

Hey dopplershift94,

I agree with the other posts here. From what you've said he is really trying to pressure you into having sex with him which is completely unacceptable. I'd second Robert's suggestion that you break off your friendship with him - not just for the reasons that Robert stated but also so he has some space to get over his crush on you.

If, however, you don't want to give up on him then perhaps you could confront him directly about it? Maybe meet somewhere public and tell him that his behaviour is unacceptable and that he has to accept that you are interested in him romantically? Perhaps, you could tell how his behaviour has made you feel uncomfortable and that he needs to control himself better because he can't force someone to love him? If you have another friend you could confide in and talk about this then you might want to do that as well (you could always take them along for some support if you decide to confront your friend).

Personally, I think that unless he gets some distance from you his crush won't subside but it's up to you whether you want to talk to him and try resolve this. (Btw I think talking to another friend if you can will be a big help to you regardless of what you decide to do.)

 

I agree with Robert and Barbatus here- Even if you don't break off the friendship, you should definitely at least confront him publicly. There's really nothing else you can do except tell him you're not interested, and if he doesn't accept that he sounds more like a rapist than a friend. I mean, even if we put ourselves in his situation, I don't think anyone on this thread would have acted like he did over mere unrequited love- which leads me to believe his behavior is a little bit, if not plenty odd. Good luck friend! I hope you can either cram the idea that you don't like him into your brain, or otherwise break it off with him if you have to.

 

Yea.....if he doesn't respect your boundaries...you are gonna have to out some distance around him. However, if you don't want to break off the friendship....confront like everyone says....but I was also thinking if his viewpoint to...he's tired of feeling rejected and I know I got bitter when it happened. He's frustrated....encourage him to work on his style and approach...help him find another one. Encourage him to talk to a therapist. Just guide him to the direction that he can take care of himself.

 

I agree with the others. Sounds like classical nice guy/friendzoning crap. Even gay/bi men can do it.

I had a really huge crush on my best friend once. She said no. Wanna know what I did? I got over it and accepted the friendship for what it was. That being said, it was hard to get over it at first so I wanted space from her, but I never pressured her into anything. She understood and we're still best friends to this day.

A real friend will understand. You're doing the right thing by giving him space and only time will tell whether he can accept this and continue being a good friend to you.

 

Hey dopplershift94,

I hope that works out. Just a final thought - you might still want to tell another friend who is around in case things don't go so smoothly. I'm not trying to be a pessimist, I really hope giving him some distance goes well, I'm just saying it might be an idea to have someone to support you as well. Hope it goes well though and you can put behind you.

 

severe that friendship completely. you owe him nothing.

*edit: lol, just realised that been said. good advice tho