So I had a girlfriend for 5 months. I loved her through and through, we had fights but we ways got through them, and one day, she was on the phone with me, and she started to mock me and be really mean and she only does that when she's really stressed out, or going through something and we got Into a fight, and then everything broke down from there. She ended up breaking up with me saying how she wasn't ready for a relationship, and what not. And how she was emotionally unstable and everything and I didn't understand at first but she said she wanted to stay friends and one day I came by to drop off her stuff, and she tried cutting herself and I had to pull the knife out of her hand and we cried and I held her and told her I was there for her, in which I was. And then she just started pushing me away, and I didn't understand. She started to become mean towards me, and kind of push me off like I never mattered to her anymore, and it hurt and I told her and she said that she couldn't do it anymore, and how she couldn't worry about me anymore and what not, then so I stopped talking to her and then she texted me a day later saying how she hoped I was doing well, and so what not. Later on, we were nice to each other, and decided to be okay with one another but the last time, I had saw her. I went to give her the final amount of stuff of hers. She told me she wanted to keep this necklace because she wanted me to know that she loved me but it hurt to have it around and she treated me like I never mattered to her and I didn't see the point in keeping it if it was just going to remind me how she was during the relationship. I wanted to give it back because I thought she deserved to have it back, and it wasn't about being ungrateful. I was grateful she gave it to me, but it hurt to have it around and I thought she needed it more than I did. I gave it back to her, and she was just a straight up asshole to me. She just rolled her eyes and said to hurry up because she had a lot of homework and she made me nervous still, and I am still in love with her so she made me panicky. And so I was hurt a little by that. And so I mentioned I had to go back soon as well because I was going to meet up with this girl and she said "oh that's nice, I'm having a date with a guy too" and I was kind of shocked and confused because she broke up with me and told me she wasn't ready for a relationship, and she just told me "who said it's going to be serious?" And I just was upset..and jealous but I only wanted her to be happy in the end, so I smiled and let her be on her way Later on I texted her that I was happy for her going on that date and I just wanted her to be happy and that I was sorry, and she said "thanks" and said how she threw out the stuff I gave back, and she then proceeded to go on how I was ungrateful but I wasn't ungrateful. I was hurt, and she kept saying "goodbye" every time I sent a message trying to explain why I gave it back, and what not and then she went on to say how she doesn't want to go into details And how she doesn't need to know how I feel... And I think that was a burning point for me. She said she loved me but proceeded to treat me like I didn't matter, to act like my feeling didn't matter and act like I never cared for her when I was the one who pulled the knife out of her hand and sat there and took the time, to be nice. I gave her space. I went out of my way to be nice to her even after the break up. Every time I tried telling her how I felt after she broke up with me, she just shut me aside and said "goodbye" and it hurts, to know that I loved and cared for someone who just never took the time to be nice to me... She tried to even blame me. She said how I think I know her and how I never figured her out but she pushed me away every time I tried to ask. I tried to talk about things with her after, and be there and she just pushed me away. And she said "I know" when I told her that and it's like does she get pleasure out of tearing me apart? Does it really not matter to her? we spent 5 amazing months together and I'll always cherish it...but for how she treated me afterwards, I don't even want to remember her name. I gave all of her stuff back because of the way she treated me...and how she continued to push me away...and I thought "if she loved me, why would treat me this way?" And no matter how many times I asked, she would never tell me... And I sat here for a month, in pain, crying ...
No one can tell you what issues your friend is dealing with, but what is certain is that you should take some distance. She clearly has problems that would probably benefit from some professional help. No matter how much you care about her, you wouldn't be able to fix this for her. Especially as her ex girlfriend, you are in an incredibly vulnerable position yourself. Protect yourself, and cease all contact with her for a while. Even if she contacts you, don't engage.
Well I know that she needs professional help but I don't think I can fix her. I'm not trying to. I was just trying to be there as a friend ---------- Post added 9th Sep 2016 at 02:41 PM ---------- And she's my ex girlfriend
I honestly don't know what her deal is. She sounds very unstable and I think it would be best if you stopped trying to help. She clearly does not want your help, and even if she did, you probably wouldn't be able to help her. It seems that maybe you still have unresolved feelings for her. Are you trying to help her in hopes that she will get better and take you back? Because, in my opinion, that possibility is very unlikely.
I don't know why everyone thinks I'm trying to help. I'm not trying to help her. I just to wanted to be there for her like she asked. Be her friend and support her
Being there for her as a friend and to support her can be construed as "help" in this situation. And my point was that trying to be her support at this point will only cause you heart aches, as she seems to have very little respect for you. I suggest you muster some self respect and break away from all this drama for a while. Maybe this wasn't what you were hoping to hear, but I'm not sure what exactly you wanted from this post. No one can tell you what exactly her problem is.
Supporting someone is considered help. She obviously doesn't want it. Why try to be a friend to someone so hateful?
Supporting isn't helping. Helping is s proven benefit and supporting someone isn't proved to be helpful. It's just a nice gesture, and maybe because she told me she wanted to be friends originally? And maybe because she seemed she had nobody else? I get she's being hateful but it's no reason to not try to be there and be kind never the less
You asked for our advice on what her problem is. She's unstable. That's her problem. It seems that you are being very defensive. So, do what you think is best. Good luck.
Although the relationship was great and amazing for you, what if it wasn't for her? She broke up with you, she's done with the relationship. She needs her space, and you trying to be there for her isn't going to give her that.
Does nobody ever read what I write? She wanted me to be her friend so I was. Why am I getting attacked for being there and being a nice person? It's not about the relationship, its how she treated me afterwards. I don't know why everyone seems to think I'm still hooked onto the relationship part of everything. I'm not, it's how she treated me afterwards and I was just wondering if anyone had any similar experiences and could maybe explain why. Or anything. Don't be so hard on me for being hurt and wanting a little of a conversation about it
