My boyfriend doesn't do anything with me.

Do you know if he's paying for the trips with his family or friends? Maybe he's only paying a small part of the whole price, which he can afford?

Another thing worth mentioning is that you don't necessarily have to spend money on a trip. What about doing something that's free or cost very very little? Like... hiking for example? I can't really think of many examples right now but I hope you get my point.

 

Have you tried actually planning a trip with him? Discussing where you want to go, when, and what your budget is? Get the ball rolling and see what happens from there.

 

You can't force him to spend money on what you'd want to do, sadly. Perhaps you could have a serious conversation with him about that topic?

 

Hey AlexGreen242!

I think your desire to do more fruitful and extravagant things with your boyfriend is a wonderful thing~ The same ol' movie and dinner date can definitely get stale especially if you've been doing it for 8 months. However, I think it's important to analyze your relationship with your boyfriend versus his friends and family.

Understandably, he has probably known his friends and family for a lot longer than 8 months! Therefore, the bond that he has with them is most likely much more developed (as it should be). So it wouldn't be hard to imagine why he might prefer spending his money on extravagant outings with them. At the end of the day, it comes down to priorities for him.

Now, you might be thinking: "Did you just say my boyfriend doesn't consider me a priority!?" No. I think your boyfriend loves you very much! As you mentioned: he brought up the idea of you two saving money and decided on a place to go. This can be easier said that done. Saving money is never easy (and it's even tougher with two people haha). It takes a mutual commitment on both side, like a relationship itself.

I suggest first deciding on the place that both of you want to go. Make sure you both REALLY want it! It has to be somewhere that motivates you both enough to put in the work to save. Then, figure out a general estimate for the whole trip. This will give you some perspective on how much you two will need. Finally, break that amount down into VERY small payments that both of you can contribute to monthly (almost like a pre-authorized contribution someone sets up at a bank). If one of you fails to contribute, then that month's payment will compound on the next months payment (That way you don't have one person paying for the whole thing). Maybe you could also set up some sort of punishment game too! Like if one of you fails to pay, then they have to buy dinner, or pay for the movie ticket for that week, etc.

Good luck and I hope you can work things out and go on an amazing trip~

 

Sorry but I think he just not that bothered about you. If he was really into you he would be spending time with you doing things and you would be no 1 full stop.
You could give him one last chance and tell him you want to be going places etc, if he lets you down again then you have got your answer.

 

Thank You So Much for saying this Poppy!!!!!!...When I first saw the responses to this post....In my head..I was thinking along the same as you and I thought something was wrong with my thinking when I saw some of the other responses...but your response brought me back to reality...I totally agree with you ....or better yet...he could still be in the closet with his friends and family members ...but I tend to lean more towards your response Poppy...:eusa_clap

 

Sounds like ultimatum time. If he's not putting in effort you gotta put your foot down.