so, my friend who I haven't seen in over a month (a little unusual for us) texted me recently. We caught up-- it was a slow conversation, 'cause we both took a while to respond. So, she implied she was bisexual. I asked, and she confirmed it. So, I told her she had my support. Then I thought, well, now or never, and I came out to her, too. I'm feeling crappy about it, because I hope she doesn't feel weird about us being affectionate as friends over the years (I see us as totally platonic, but who knows, she might be completely weirded out now. We even did a ship cosplay last year lol) The more we talked the more I realized that she'll be in a difficult situation if she ever comes out to her parents, so I offered that we meet up and talk about it, catch up etc. I have some advice I want to give her, but I'm not sure how I'll bring up the topic at all. But a lot of my depression was because of my own sensitivity to the responses from my relatives, and bad timing when I came out. I think she'd go down a similar path to mine, but worse-- I imagine her parents won't let her hang out with her friends anymore if she ever introduces a girlfriend instead of a boyfriend. I think she should wait til independent, and focus on herself as an individual, and make sure she's bulletproof to any comments that will make her rethink things that she's just figured out. People doubt themselves enough without someone else making them. Plus: What makes it more awkward is that I've kind of pretended to be straight for years, so what reason does she have to trust me? Plus, don't people hate getting "guidance" from friends?
No, the guidance I received from friends before coming out was invaluable to me. It's why most people come out to friends before family. The truth is usually that friends know us better than our own family does. I would recommend advising her just as you would advise someone here on EC. Supporting her decisions, giving her the benefit of your experiences, and giving her things to think about. No pressure to come out, just giving her things to think about so she can make better decisions for herself. She can trust you because you've been down the same road.
TheRealSlimDork, I agree with Imgay47 that (1) looking for support and advice from friends is why we most often Come Out to friends first, and (2) you should definitely make it known to her that you are there for her and can provide both support and advice, if she wants it. If you aren't sure how receptive she'll be to receiving your advice, you might just tell her a little about your experience in the LGBT Community. She might already know as much as you do OR she may just be grateful and eager to receive your advice. Just a thought. Take Care. Stay strong and proud!
Hell...I know this is late but give her this website. There's nothing like learning how many people are going or have been through the same exact thing.
