Ok, I had been with my girlfriend for 7 months. Everything was great. We were both very happy. Around 6 months we were going to celebrate but that did not happen as she was thinking about the past ? Before that she seemed a little off and ever since then we have barely spoke. She kept blowing me off. Kept ignoring my attempt to communicate. Wouldnt meet up for various reasons. She kept cancelling our plans last minute. She backed out of our future plans for holidays with the excuse of saving money. Despite me telling her I would pay and she was happy with that at the time. She has made very little physical effort in our relationship. This is one area i struggle with and have worked so hard to get past. I pushed myself so that i could do this for her. She has made NO effort. Ive become so fed up with it I told her I am walking away. 7 days later... still no reaction despite reading my message. I gave her numerous attempts to tell me what was wrong. I kept trying to see her and I couldnt there was always a reason. I have no idea what I have done wrong. I have given her everything I could have. I thought we were happy. Clearly this was not the case. I feel like I have been completely and utter abadoned by her. I feel so alone, so let down. I struggle to open up to people, I gave her everything. I shared everything with her and this is what I get. I feel like I want to disappear.
(*hug*)It's okay. You're gonna be okay. Sometimes people back out of things and you were let down. I'm not very good at this whole 'comforting' thing, but just know that there will be another girlfriend, who'll love you and you'll be happy together. It's pretty much statistically inevitable I think.
I've been there so take this from an old hand. There were warning signs that you ignored (me too). She tried to tell you how she felt (yep I ignored them as well). The thing that does worry me is 7 months. By that stage you should still be exploring each other's likes, hates, pleasures and regrets. You really shouldn't be at the 'final' stage. Take things slowly and naturally. It takes time for a real relationship to develop. Take that time - trust me it will be worth it eventually.
I dont understand why she has done this. It makes no sense. Totally out of the blue she just decided to completely cut me off. I asked her what was going on and she told me things were fine. However I dodnt beleive her as it clearly wasnt and not this... I ended it because i had been in a situation in the past where my own physical and mental health became an issue due to bad gut feels about a relationship and things going badly. I was determined to not let myself fall down that hole again. But I am, I feel like I cant stop myself going back to that horrible place again...
Well, I know you'll probably go toward that horrible place...I speak from some experience like another poster who said she was "an old hand" at it. But, for the future, here is an idea. Set a rule for yourself that you won't develop relationships or put up with people who exhibit signs of being passive-aggressive. You can spot them in a minute, by watching them interact with other people. It appears that you and I both are the type of individual, for which this type of person is poison. Also, try to avoid this behavior in yourself, if you can. In the mean time, the usual prescription is to find other groups and outlets, and literally force yourself to involve yourself in them. Getting started is the hardest. Resist the temptation if you can to be alone all the time. By this I mean just socialization and being around others, not romantic stuff.
