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Am i overly sensitive or is this reason to be upset?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by clavaboi, Sep 22, 2016.

  1. clavaboi

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    So ive been talking to a guy for a while now, its really late at night and we were just texting and he is really sweet usually but i felt a little bit blown off. He asked me "how was your day and what did you do? i told him along with asking "what about you?" and all he said was "okay cool yeah sounds good. I hate to cut this short but im really tired and heading to bed, lets talk tomorrow and i can answer all your questions, night"

    I mean i know he may have been tired and like passing out while texting me, i have had somewhat scattered responses when im tired and need to find a way to end the convo, but like honestly i only asked one question "what about you?" & thats it. Is he being mean, or could this really just be a misscommunication? Ugh Maybe im just a big crybaby but this isnt really like him, it feels like he didnt even read the message. Im trying not to let stuff like this get to me because my sensitivity has tended to push away guys that im serious about, in the past. The part that bugged me was"okay yeah cool" & "ill answer all your questions", not that he was going to bed. I feel like he can sometimes be too polite , which makes me wonder if this indicates anything about how into me he really is.
     
    #1 clavaboi, Sep 22, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 22, 2016
  2. AlmostBlue

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    I think you are reading too much into this. That sounds like a perfectly acceptable response in general, and not at all mean. It's quite considerate, actually. He responded to what you had said "sounds good", excused himself for having to cut this short, and then indicated that he wants to not only talk tomorrow, but continue this conversation to show that he's interested in what you had to say and ask.

    If you think you're sensitivity has pushed guys away in the past, maybe think of what the nature of this sensitivity is and where it comes from. Perhaps you have low self-esteem, and you also subconsciously expect others to respond and act in same way as yourself. People have different ways of communicating and different ways of showing their affection. It's important to try to understand that and appreciate it to have a healthy relationship in my opinion.
     
  3. clavaboi

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    Yeah , it does honestly baffle me how drastically different everyone's communication can be sometimes, but i guess its good that everyones different. i do realize ive been reading too much into this. The reponse i had was, "okay text me tomorrow & i didnt have a lot of questions, but i was just hoping you had a good day too, goodnight" I hope i did okay, but i was trying my absolute best to stay calm about it. In the past i may have said something more like "i only asked one question, why would you need to answer "all" my questions when there was only one? why couldnt you just say you had a good day and then say goodnight? why are you so polite? you can just tell me your going to bed". This kind of freaking out was always a recipe for disaster. I still need to work on the overthinking & questioning everything though. at least ive been making some progress, hm
     
  4. AlmostBlue

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    I think that response you gave was fine! And the other response you used to give...I'd run away as fast as I can if I got that response from someone, especially if it's early on in the dating process.

    By "all the questions", I assume he meant that he would've been happy to talk more about his day and other potential back and forth there would've been, but he's tired. If he had just said "I'm doing fine, good night", a lot of people would find that cold.

    Everyone being different isn't about good or bad. It's just the reality. I don't know how old you are but it shouldn't baffle you too much. Look at how complicated you yourself are. That's how complicated every single person out there is, so of course we react differently. You have to be able to imagine how that person is feeling in their own mindset, and not imagining how they are feeling according to your own mindset. Otherwise, you will miss out on a lot of great connections you could've made.

    It's great that you are making progress. Once again, your response was perfectly fine in my opinion. Have you always had this tendency to over interpret/feel attacked?
     
  5. faustian1

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  6. clavaboi

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    Thanks for the thoughts. I'm 20, and have been pretty isolated from people besides a few individuals who were really similar to me. Was trapped in the closet for years caused me to feel bitter towards a lot of people.

    But I've definitely always over interpreted /felt attacked, though a little less recently

    ---------- Post added 22nd Sep 2016 at 04:17 PM ----------

     
    #6 clavaboi, Sep 22, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 22, 2016