"You are an extension of whom I am"

[Moderator: While this tread contains elements of physical intimacy, given the primary focus of the relationship dynamic between my partner and myself, I decided to include it in this section. If you feel it should be moved, feel free to do so]

While my partner and I were being intimate last night, he made a comment that really struck me. He said "I feel as if you are an extension of whom I am when I make love to you".

Now, on the face of it, this was a beautiful comment for him to have made and I felt warm inside when he said it. But allow me to provide some more detail and dig a bit deeper on the comment.

We had finished the evening in front of the television watching Stranger Things. The show is quite intense and certainly has a way of playing with the viewers anxiety and emotions. After the show, we went into the bedroom and started kissing intimately in bed. As we began to kiss, he was being extremely romantic (which is quite rare for him as he tends to be less passionate than I am). At the same time, unexpectedly, he offered himself to be on the receiving end this evening; and while we both profess to be versatile in bed, he typically is much more hesitant to be on the receiving end compared to me.

While I was making love to him, he clearly was out of his comfort zone. I was extremely tender, slow, and thoughtful of his reactions; and he did not seem to be fully enjoying it. Rather, he appeared to be going through the motions in order to please me. I should say this was probably his first time in a few months on the receiving end, and the lack of practice was apparent.

For me, I am happy to be on either end of the equation. And so since he instigated the intimacy as he did, and he seemed to be doing so to make me happy, I followed his lead.

After a while, before either of us climaxed (which I was struggling to do because I sensed his anxiousness, and he clearly struggled to do as he was not really enjoying himself), he asked that we stop. Which I immediately did. We laid down next to each other and snuggled. He wanted to start to talk about what happened and I asked that we simple lay there a snuggle so as not to get into any debates and just enjoy each others company.

Some time went by, and we began rubbing each other again, kissing again, and became aroused again. So this time, I rolled over on top of him and inserted him into me. We kissed passionately and continued making love to one another with him inside of me. We switched positions, enjoyed each others body some more, and he climaxed. And where I usually always reach an orgasm, I did not do so this time.

It had stuck in my head how uncomfortable he seemed initially and rather than focus on my own pleasure, I wanted to make sure that he rebuilt his confidence and focused on making sure he climaxed.

When finished, again we wrapped our arms around each other and he started to make a comment blaming his lack of passion while on the receiving on me. At which point I put my finger on his lips and simply shook my head. He looked at me and then said, "yes, the problem is not you, it was me. I know that". And I reassured him and told him how there was no problem and nothing to worry about.

This is when he made the comment "I feel as if you are an extension of whom I am when I make love to you" and he also added "and I do not understand why I do not feel the same when I am on the bottom". I should also add, when we first met, we frequently flipped positions and he openly enjoyed being on the receiving end.

Well, I have no answers to this dynamic. But it has certainly caused quite a bit of questions in both our heads. I love how open we are able to be with one another. There are absolutely no filters between us. For some reason, this unfiltered evening reinforced my love for him, but also, at least to me, seems to have opened the door to a new dynamic in our relationship.

i am not sure yet what that dynamic is or where this takes us. And some of you reading this might think I am overthinking things. But for me, seeing where we have been over the past 2.5 years and the plans we have for our future (as we our getting closer and closer to getting married), The dynamic last night reflected an evolution to our relationship. And I remained open minded as to the direction the relationship goes.