when my friends talk about guys i don't participate most of the times and they have started to suspect me.. and they ask me but not in a good way..like "don't you like any guy? what's wrong with you? are you a dyke or something? haha!" and i just deny it because i'm not ready to come out and because i don't think they will be acceptable.. the thing that bugs me is that they think this is a joke..i don't blame them though..they can't understand how hard it is to trying figure out yourself and accept yourself for being different.. but i would never ask anyone "are you gay?" i didn't even ask a close friend of mine i waited until he was ready to tell me! i thought that's the right thing to do.. i wish i had a friend who understands me..
Hi jenne, You are right. Its up to you when you come out and you treated you friend well in waiting for him to come out of his own accord. Your friends are being ignorant and irritating. Regarding your friends - are they close friends? Do you hang out with them a lot? Are you particularly close to one or some of them? If you are close with one and trust them, would you consider coming out to them only? Then they could help deflect questions or redirect the conversation. If you don't hang out with them much would it be problem to get some distance from them? Otherwise you might want to come up with phrases and responses that you can portray as a joke. I don't know what your sense of humour is with your friends but there was a post here about comebacks to insults one of which might be useful. Again depending on your sense of humour, if your friends ask as you gay then you could say 'only with your mother'. You might want to come up with some responses of your own that you would feel comfortable with. It would just give you a way of responding without having to coming out or reveal something you don't want to.
Even some straight people find constant talk about men and boyfriends to be annoying. Maybe just explain that you're sick of the topic.
