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my dad wants me to be straight, should i try to stop liking girls?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by atomic dorito, Sep 29, 2016.

  1. atomic dorito

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    My dad talked to me for 2 hours about why a relationship with a boy would be better for me, and how I should try a guy instead of a girl. I don't know what to think but should I avoid girls and go for a guy? I really only like girls but.. if it would make him happy then should I? if so how? :help::confused:
     
  2. Chip

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    Your dad is hurting because he doesn't understand.

    Who you're attracted to is hardwired and unchangeable. An exhaustive review of every study done in the last 60 years looking at ways to change sexual orientation found that it simply wasn't possible.

    So... you need to focus on being yourself. If you like girls... you like girls... and that's that. It may take some time for your dad to come around, but I'm sure he will.

    You might consider printing out some material from pflag.org and giving it to him to read. Perhaps that will help. But it may just take some time.
     
  3. I'm gay

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    You might ask him if he was told that he should be with a man, how would he feel about that? It's really the same thing. As Chip said, you are who you are, and you shouldn't try to be someone else for anyone, including your father.

    He will likely need some more time to adjust to thinking about you this way.
     
  4. Quantumreality

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    I agree with Chip and Imgay47. This issue is about you, not your Dad. What about turning the conversation around and asking him if he wants YOU to be happy or miserable? Ask him if he REALLY wants a daughter who is miserable, but dates boys just to make him happy?

    Just some thoughts.

    Best of luck!

    Take Care. Stay strong and proud!:slight_smile:
     
  5. Barbatus

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    I agree with the others. You have to live your life and if you don't like guys then it's pointless pretending you do or not pretending but dating guys anyway. Maybe you could just say to your dad (if you feel comfortable doing so), 'I've thought about what you have said but I have no interest in guys and it would be a fraud for me to pretend otherwise. You'll just have to get used to me liking girls.' You could also make Imgay47's point about how would he like it if he was forced into a relationship with someone who had no attraction to. Hope he comes round and doesn't push the issue again. :slight_smile:
     
  6. Jax12

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    No, you should not try and stop liking girls. It will only hurt you in the long run. Your father doesn't understand why you like girls. At the moment, my parents do not accept that I like guys, but there is nothing I can do about it. Either they accept me for who I am or they fall behind and miss out on the happiness that I want to share.

    May sound selfish to say, but your happiness is more important than anyone else's, even your parents.
     
  7. EleanorHunter

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    Don't try and go against anything that you feel. If you like girls, you like girls. That's not something anybody else can change.

    Your dad just doesn't understand what being LGBT means. You can't change your sexual orientation. But it's nothing for you to be ashamed of.

    This is a difficult thing to go through, and I hope that it gets better quick. Until then, I'm sending you all the love and support I can! (*hug*)
     
  8. Kira

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    As a person who kept the "Fake it, please the family" attitude held firmly for around a decade I'll just say it inevitably ends and causes a lot of distress in it's wake. The façade essentially splits your identity, the true you bottled inside, and the mask you wear to keep family members calm. These identities tend to drift further and further apart until you don't even know who you are anymore, resulting in deep cemented depression that medication just won't fix. When I stopped the act a few years back my father cut ties with me, cut child support illegally, and hasn't spoken to me since. Despite that I'd never felt so free, as I was at last the same person inside and out. While my family misses that husk of a person I tried to be I know I'm better off without it.

    Also as others have mentioned, you could ask him to date men if you do as a way to prove a point. "If I do it to make you happy, you should do it too to make me happy. It's only fair. Neither of us are attracted so." but since I don't know the dude I won't be able to predict how well he responds to fairness.

    If he's of questionable sanity however play it safe, some parents can be spontaneously and impulsively cruel enough to send their children to camps in an attempt to bleach their minds and force their actions via fear tactics. There's still plenty of areas where this practice has not yet been illegalized, and if he supposedly "Wants you to turn straight" like some sort of switch I'd advise caution. Play it safe.
     
  9. RavenWing

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    I agree with the above replies.
    Never stop being yourself. Especially not just to make others happy. If you like girls, you like girls. It's your sexuality, and that is not something that someone can decide. You can't force yourself to like boys, that never goes well and isn't be true to yourself, I know by personal experience. Always remember to be yourself. No one should dictate who you love. No one.
     
  10. resu

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    Sexual orientation is not an on-off switch. Yes, you can change your behavior, and some people have even tried to live straight lives, complete with heterosexual marriage and kids, but that comes at a huge cost in terms of mental well-being and self-image. Don't try to please others when it comes to your private life because it will actually make everyone unhappy.

    Liking girls is not harmful in any way except in negative treatment from homophobes, and yet homophobia is the real lifestyle choice. Straight people have been brought up in a "straight culture" that treats homosexuality as abnormal because of outdated religious and historical taboos.
     
  11. ringu20

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    You can't change your sexuality.