Today is the one month mark in me and my boyfriends first gay relationship. I think I like him a lot, but I want to know if we are moving too fast. Here's a timeline: 1 and a half weeks I jerked him off through his pants 3 weeks he jerked me off through my pants 4 weeks we sucked each other off We've talked about how we want to wait a while to lose our virginity, but is the speed this past month too fast? Should I put the brakes on something? "I love you" also slipped out of us this morning texting, but we talked that over as well and decided it's way too soon for that. We're both 16. Thanks so much.
Hey gaydebater, I would ask what else the two of you do besides sexual acts. Being bfs is much more than just about sex.
Sure, we do other things. Talk over lunch, go to museums, visit the botanical gardens, have deep conversations, etc.
What about cuddling and just enjoying each others' company while watching TV or a movie? Personally, it sounds like you're moving pretty fast on the physical side of the relationship and may want to do more romantic stuff together. If your relationship becomes all about the physical, it is unlikely to last because the two of you may very well eventually get bored of each others' bodies. Part of intimacy and really meaningful sexual acts is taking great joy in being with your bf and enjoying the fact that you are pleasing him as much as he is pleased by the things you do to and for him. If all you are doing is having sex acts for the sake of sex acts, that's not romance or a real relationship. I don't know if you can follow what I'm trying to say here. So, realistically, I would ask: what do both of you want to get out of the relationship?
Hold on a minute, dude. What are you taking away from this. I'd like to be sure you're thinking things through rather than just hearing some advice and running with it. ---------- Post added 3rd Oct 2016 at 10:39 PM ---------- As fast as the two of you are moving, it sounds to me like you are currently letting lust lead your relationship, not romance. There’s nothing inherently wrong with that, if that is what both of you want. But if you end up losing your virginity’s to each other so quickly will that mean the end of the relationship? Will you or he or both of you feel dirty or betrayed or unfulfilled if you just let your hormones flow and have sex instead of pacing yourselves knowingly and having an intimate relationship? So again, the question I would ask is: what do both of you want to get out of the relationship?
I think I'll try to focus on spending time getting to know him a lot more and make sure I'm ready for sex when it happens in the future (a ways down the road). We've talked and agreed that we want to last for a really long time. We can mess around but what's most important is making sure we put our romantic feelings for one another above our physical feelings.
That sounds like a really good plan, gaydebater. Do you think you have a clear enough idea in your head now to have a really good discussion with your bf about this? Obviously, however you proceed, you need to do it mutually, if you want the relationship to have a good chance of lasting for a long time. And you should remember to keep communicating with each other at all times. If one of you isn't comfortable with something, make sure you are able to talk to each other about it. Best of luck to both of you!
