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Why does my straight best friend confuse me so much

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by darkrainbow23, Oct 6, 2016.

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  1. darkrainbow23

    darkrainbow23
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    Ok so I have posted only a couple threads about this, but here it is. I know this is a cliche, but I am in love with my best-friend. He knows about my sexual orientation and my feelings for him and it still hasn't changed our friendship. It honestly has gotten closer he is always talking to me, when we talk through text he replies with emojis which he doesn't use when talking to other people. He doesn't have a girl-friend , but he does talk about girls a lot. I'm getting an apartment in a couple months and it was cheaper to get a 2 bedroom apartment versus a single and when I told him that I was getting a 2 bedroom he immediately asked if he could move in, I said yes of course. SO here in lies the problem, he doesn't want me to talk about my feelings for him and he doesn't want to talk about gay things, but he is always saying things that could be flirtatious to me. when we are around each other he gets extremely close to me. There are just a lot more red flags that I can't even describe. How should I pursue my interest without ruining my friendship if it isn't reciprocated?
     
    #1 darkrainbow23, Oct 6, 2016
  2. robclem21

    robclem21
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    You shouldn't pursue your interest. That's how.

    He knows you are gay and has shown zero interest. That means, either he is not interested, or he is straight. Either way you need to be okay with that and be comfortable with your friendship as is. If that is not something you are okay with then perhaps moving in together may not be the best idea.

    When we crush, we look for signs and often see things that aren't there. His things that "could be flirtatious" could just be his normal personality, even if it is different with you than others. Maybe he is just more natural around you since you are closer. Does not mean he is gay.

    I would leave this as is and just start looking for relationships elsewhere if that's what you are interested in.
     
    #2 robclem21, Oct 6, 2016
  3. darkrainbow23

    darkrainbow23
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    The only problem with you reply is that others have seen it in him as well. His closest friends have been discussing it for a while now. And I gave a simplification not a full descriptive message but he has been ignoring other people that were his close friends for a longer time and has started to respond to me more and text and talk to me so much more than anyone else. When we hang out he sometimes touches me on my leg ad since i hate feet he finds it funny to try to touch me with his. There are just a lot more factors that make it hard to see him as just straight,
     
    #3 darkrainbow23, Oct 6, 2016
  4. Lora

    Lora
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    Some straight are bi-curious andn want to play on the safe side. Now, I am not saying that your friend is bi-curious. WHo knows? Only he can say or not. This is just another way of looking at things. If you really want to know the answer, you can ask him if he has feelings for you. That needs a lot of courage. If he says no, I don't have feelings for you, take it as it is. If you are uncomfortable with his extra closeness and physical contact, then, I agree with robclem21, that moving together is not a good idea. Because later on, you might fall for him and he will not reciprocate the same thing that you want and that sucks. Really sucks.
     
    #4 Lora, Oct 6, 2016
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