This doesn't have much to do with LGBT but I didn't know where else to go. This has been the most supportive group of people I've ever met. Anyway, my mom is being a bitch. All I want in life is for her to love me the way I am, not the perfect idea of me she has in her head. I should have never done this but a couple of days ago I was looking through my mom's stuff. I found a journal someone gave her that my mom had been writing in for my older brother. My mom hates writing and is very non-committing, so she only wrote a few pages. My brother was a baby when it was written, so I didn't even exist then. She wrote her hopes of four kids and how much she loved my brother (currently my brother thinks she hates him). She wrote about how she saw a women belittling her kids in a restaurant and how she never wants to do that to her kids. Fast forward sixteen years and here I am, sitting alone in my bedroom typing away my sob story. I just had a big fight with my mom. I really want to run away or get out of here but I'm smart enough to know that's about the stupidest thing I could do. I think the biggest thing tying me here is my mom. I really want her to accept me. She's making my life really difficult. Do I sound ungrateful? I don't want to be a brat because isn't this something that happens to every teenager? Basically, my mom is very controlling. She never let go of the past and she's living through me. I hate it. We fight over everything. Dances, school trips, the dishes, my clothes. I know I'm not the daughter she wants me to be. Whenever I stand up for my siblings (They're too afraid of her) or my own beliefs and opinions, she makes me feel like a terrorist. I've started crying every day after school and I don't know why, but it might be because of her. Somedays she treats me like a friend, and other days a prisoner. The biggest thing I can't stand about her is that she never listens. I try and talk to her and she will literally tell me to go away. She prefers facebook to talking to her daughter. I'm really close with my dad and my mom is mad about that. She mocks me for hugging my dad and telling him I love him. Whenever I tell my mom I love her she never says anything back. She embarrasses me a lot and teases me. It's not funny but it's the only time I see her laugh. She expects my siblings and I to wait on her hand and foot. (My room is in the basement and she will call me upstairs to get the phone for her which is literally a meter beside her!!!) My mom is lazy, selfish, controlling, and she always acts like the victim. But I really want to love her, but she's making it harder and harder. What do I do? :help:
I'm not sure from your post, but is there something specific that has ignited this tension with your mom? For example, did you come out to her as questioning (as per your profile to the left), or otherwise go against some expectation she had for you? It sounds like she might be going through some sort of situation of her own - not wanting to answer a phone a meter away, for example. If your parents are still married, I would recommend talking to your dad about this - perhaps he can shed some light on why this is happening. If your parents aren't married, you might try reaching out to a relative of your mom's - maybe your uncle/aunt, if you have them, or her parents (i.e. your grandparents). It might be best to start with someone else, to get a better idea of how to approach your mom first.
dudde, your mom is pyscho. seriously - she is sick i'm think maybe narcissistic personality disorder, paranoid personality disorder (check the symptoms, they never let go of the past), or something similiar, or both and more also - is she menopausal? this is bad. people should not be mocking loved ones. its ususally a sign of narcisism or alchohlism. anyways - your mom is seriously ill. she needs help - and so do y ou for coping with it. You need support In Al-anon, we learn to detach from dysfunctional people. Is there teen-anon near you? Definitely studying dysfucntion will help ease your mind - but she is toxic and abusive. I recommend seeking help and support. You really need it. She will make you sicker and sicker. No one should be crying every day. Consider reporting the situation to a school staff member or counselor. They often arent the best, its hit or miss, but its never a bad idea to try them. Also definitely look elsewhere in the community for help and support. Support groups, counselors, religious institutions - anywher you can find safe adults to try and talk to about these things. Take care!!!!!!!!!!!!! (and this is a great place to keep talking too
