Hi all, Okay. My girlfriend and I have been together for six months come tomorrow. In that time, we've made what I had believed to be major progress in sharing our troubles. However, now I'm honestly not so sure. This past week had been a bit rough for me, 'y depression ha dknocked ne for a loop, but I pulled myself out and felt perfectly good yesterday. My gf was there the entire time for me. However, I came to learn that yesterday when she felt "fine" she actually felt awful and didn't want to ruin my day. And I didn't even notice. For perspective,she's had basically 16 years of hardships and hiding her troubles, but I had asked for her honest feelings, and she lied. Last night, I called her, (originally to wake her up to finish work, but she obviously didn't want to, :9 I didn't push. She kept silent, told me next to nothing, and while I told her I loved her and was there for her, it seemed to do Nextel to nothing. Now, I understand needing to hide honest feelings and thoughts, especially at school. I also understand just not being able to feel better. My problem belies in the fact that I had no clue there was something wrong with her, could say nothing of any true value when she did need help, and all around failed to help her. I've told her time and again I'm here if she needs me, that I'll be patient and wait when she doesn't, that I love her. I am her support system, and I just...don't know what to do forbidden her right now but say I'm here, which currently just isn't cutting it. And if I can't even tell she's having a bad day, what kind of girlfriend does that make me? Somewhat desperate, :help:
After what sounds like her whole life hiding her feelings behind a mask, it's going to take time for her to realize it's okay for her to share. You didn't fail to help her. You've told her that you're there for her and created a supportive place for her to share her feelings. She chose to continue to hide how she felt. Keep offering to listen and hopefully she'll feel more comfortable opening up. Is there a counselor or anyone else she might be willing to talk to? It's great that you support her, but she should have other people in her court too.
She's been going to a therapist for her PTSD, which has seemed to help just a little, but while she has friends to talk to on the more superficial things, neither them nor her family are people she feels she can go to for real support.
