I have no idea why I'm even here. My boyfriend broke up with me because one of my old friends told him I was bisexual and to him that was revolting and stupid. He called me a bunch of names, I don't want to list here. I don't even know if I'm bi or not. I've liked 2 girls (one that blackmailed me and one that is my best friend) and I've had boyfriends and stuff. I feel like if I tell my best friend that I'm bi (if I even am) that she'll react like my boyfriend. I don't know what to do and I'm scared.
Hey IlovePringles02, I’m SO sorry that your boyfriend broke up for you for such an idiotic reason. Biphobia is a real problem and whether or not you are actually bisexual, you are clearly a victim. What exactly are you scared of/about?
I'm scared I'm going to screw up everything.. I go to a christian school for Christs sake... Like, if I act on something it's just going to end up like the Abby situation (which is what I've always referred this situation as.. There was this girl I was friends with for two years before I told her I had a crush on her while at a sleepover.. She kissed me that night and the next day at school wouldn't talk to 'a fag like me') I'm at a different school now and she happened to follow me there ( purpose or not idk):bang: ---------- Post added 15th Oct 2016 at 08:08 PM ---------- I've struggled with depression for quite a while, the sexuality thing doesn't exactly help. I feel like a bother even coming here and complaining.. I'm sorry..
That’s a tough one, IlovePringles02. Christian schools tend to be really discriminatory towards LGBTQ people. It sounds like this Abby situation was a case where she has a lot of internalized homophobia and was ashamed of herself for kissing you. Unfortunately, we can’t control what other people think in their own heads, but it’s just wrong of her to have taken her own issue out on you! As far as Coming Out to your best friend, well you should only Come Out to someone if/when you are ready and comfortable doing so. It’s also important that you feel that it will be safe for you. Coming Out to our close friends and family can be the hardest because we have the most to lose (friendship/love/support) if they reject us. What is prompting you to think about coming out to your best friend at this time? Having someone to talk to openly about this stuff? It's not a bother. This is a support site - it's primary purpose is give you a place to voice your issues/concerns/problems and get input from others to try to help you to help yourself sort things out.
On the topic of coming out to my friend.. Yes its that, and also the fact that I really, really like her.. We don't hide things and I feel bad for not telling her.. I want to tell her, but I'm not sure how she'll react.. If I was just to tell her i was bi she'd be very cool about it, she supports LGBT+ peeps.. You'd also have to know her history to really understand what I'm saying I guess... Last year she had her own "Abby" with the same outcome except they actually dated for a while.. I don't want her to think I'm forcing anything on her or trying to "coax" her out of tossing away the idea of dating girls for good.
Well, if you feel comfortable Coming Out to her and are pretty certain that she will be supportive, what is the potential downside? Is there something else causing you to be hesitant? Why would simply Coming Out to her potentially make her think you are forcing anything on her? And how would that possibly seem to her like you were "trying to 'coax' her out of tossing away the idea of dating girls for good"? I don't quite follow that train of thought.
I have a crush on my best friend. I came out to her and told her how I feel and we're still friends. ^^ She'll probably react well if she's a true friend. I think the only way she'd think you're forcing anything on her would be if you made a big deal out of it all. Maybe make it clear that it's about yourself more than about her.
(Thanks guys) I might tell her soon, I'm not sure... The only things holding me back are 1. She's straight, because "even though she's dated a girl she's not like that anymore." (which I fully respect) 2. Fear of rejection... I might be being irrational or something, worrying too much maybe.. I just don't want to screw things up... ---------- Post added 15th Oct 2016 at 08:35 PM ---------- ...You guys have no idea how much this helps.. Just talking.. I could explain why I guess, but lets just leave it at that..(*hug*)
What if you just Came Out to her for now? But save the discussion about your crush on her for later? Or do you feel really compelled to try to have both discussions at the same time? Your fear of rejection is completely reasonable. It sounds like you don't have to worry about that over the Coming Out issue. But your concerns are valid concerning telling her about your crush. We can never really know how a straight same-sex person will react when we tell them we have a crush on them. However, since you said she previously dated a girl, it would seem likely that she'd take it well. I don't think you should expect her to return your feelings, though.:icon_sad: That's the main way this site works. You get to talk things out with people that can relate to your situation.
In a perfect world I'd say both at the same time I probably will come out first.. Deal with feelings later.. It'll have to wait until Monday though, not really the type of thing you'd say over text (that's just me)
Your boyfriend was a tool - you are better off without him. Welcome Glad you're here Take care!!!! p.s. "I feel like a bother even coming here and complaining.. I'm sorry.." you have a right to complain. Keep it up!
