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Confused feelings about potential first gay relationship

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by backgroundnoise, Oct 16, 2016.

  1. backgroundnoise

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Sexual Orientation:
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    So I'm 25 and started to identify as bisexual back in May. Prior to that I was bi-curious for about half a year and was toying with the idea of going through with my first gay experience to find out if I'm actually bi. I ended up talking to a guy who was not local but close enough that us meeting was easy enough.

    Anyways fast forward, for the first few months we spoke literally every day and we still talk quite regularly. We've met up 3 times now in an 8-month span, which were all great. After each of those times I feel like the feelings I have for him are stronger and that I really like him, but in the down time when we're long distance I get waves of feeling as though I don't actually like him as much as I thought. However I go back and forth on that feeling during these long distance periods.

    Lately, I've noticed that I often dial back on my feelings for him when I think about being in a relationship with him and essentially coming out as being in a gay relationship (some of my friends know I'm bi but most don't). I'm having a really difficult time discerning if my dialed back feelings are genuine or a result of my fear of coming out.
     
  2. WhiteShadows

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    Don't worry about how other people will feel about the relationship, just worry about yourself.

    Maybe try and move things forward with him and see how it goes? Have you let him know that you sort of like him?
     
  3. robclem21

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    What is giving you hesitation? The thought of being with him, or the thought of being with a guy in general? Do you look at other men when you are not with him?

    There is always a fear of what will happen when you come out to people. If you take away those feelings and imagine everyone will be 100% okay with everything, how then do you see your relationship? Can you picture him hanging around all your family and friends (irrespective of how they would react)?

    It would be tough for anyone to give advice here and your answers won't necessarily guide our advice, but maybe cueing some introspection on your part with some questions might help sort it out.
     
  4. backgroundnoise

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    He knows I like him and he has expressed the same towards me. And yeah I definitely notice guys that I think are hot a few times a week.

    I'm thinking right now that it's a mixture of long distance strain mixed in with the closet insecurity, but the more I think about it the more I realize I like him.

    ---------- Post added 17th Oct 2016 at 12:26 PM ----------

    In other words I'm just gonna try and move forward with him hopefully and fuck what people think