It's been a while since I posted looking for advice, but I'm back! First I'll explain the part where I'm falling for him... He's one of my classmates, and we've become pretty good friends over the past year. I had all of my classes with him last semester and this semester, too. I started falling for him hard last semester, but that crush kind of died down later on. It's recently come back to where I think about him all the time, and I do anything I can to be near him. Today we took a field trip for our class, and we were by each other most of the day. I was very flirty with him, and he returned it. We did an activity where we had to sit on each others' lap in a circle. He was in front of me, so he sat on my lap. We also had to have our hands on the shoulders of the person in front of us, so my hands were on him. I "jokingly" asked if he wanted a massage, and he said yes, so I gave him a massage. He also jokingly popped his butt out towards my pelvis, and I "jokingly" gave him a little tap. He started laughing. Later on in the day he made a comment that another one of our classmates had accidentally touched his butt twice, and I asked if he wanted a third time. So he popped his butt out again, and I smacked him. He just laughed again, but on my end it felt so great (he has a really nice butt). There were other times when we jokingly touched each other, like I touched his pecs, he leaned his head on my arm and later pressed his cheek against my cheek, and stuff like that. Today was really the first day we were flirty with each other. Now onto his whole straight/not straight situation. I'll start with the shallow stuff that I always tell people shouldn't be used to indicate if someone is gay or not. He wears tight clothes, styles his hair nice every day, wears skinny/fancy jeans, etc. Obviously this doesn't mean he's gay, but it's caused some of our other classmates to speculate. He's not afraid to be "feminine", as he's openly told us all about his clothes shopping, how he owns a pink hair dryer, etc. But the biggest thing is, he has a girlfriend. The only thing with that is, she lives in Germany (we are in the US). They met when she was a foreign exchange student at his high school. They've been together for five years, but only see each other about twice a year, for at most a month at a time. I've been around them together a couple times, and he doesn't seem all that interested. Usually in a relationship a couple shows affection, but he usually just jokingly makes fun of her. I'm not sure if that's just him being him, or if there's more to it. He also said in high school, before he started dating her, everyone thought he was gay. And people have asked about him proposing, and he says she doesn't want him to because she wants to finish school in Germany, which will be two years yet. She was just here for a three week visit, but went back home over the weekend. He didn't seem particularly sad, and he even made a few jokes about how he's happy she's gone, but finished with a "just kidding" after multiple jokes throughout the day. A lot of people speculate that he's gay, and I've never had a strong feeling one way or another about it. I mean, selfishly I hope he is, but there's nothing I can hang my hat on. It also doesn't help that nobody in my real life knows I'm gay, only someone I'm good friends with on the internet. So, am I crazy? Part of me feels like there's no way he'll ever be into me, and that I just need to maintain my friendship with him. The other part of me says he might not be straight (possibly bi or gay?) and that I love him to death. I've never felt like this with anyone before. Everything from his cute eyes and smile to his hilarious and charming personality makes it feel right. Any thoughts, comments or advice would be appreciated!
