Hey - Well, this happened and I am unsure what to do.

Ohai.

I am a boy from the Netherlands who is quite gay, let me first tell a small bit about myself to make this easier to understand.

I am a boy, 15 years old, soon to be 16 living in a city suburb that has gone trough a lot in the form of family issues and death and long lasting troubles with school due to bullying and school in general (due to our school system) being unable to handle "Learning" for me as a person with a higher then avarage IQ. (Don't take this as a boast or something I am proud of, I am proud of who I am but this actually caused me so much more issues then anything else, I sometimes wish I wasn't.) I do not show being gay in any way as far as I know and I am mostly closeted.

I haven't had a real friend in my own country, ever. I had some "friends" I used to play or talk with sometimes but it always faded quickly.
About a year ago I via minecraft (an online game) met 2 girls who are amazing, they share a lot of my life and I've been able to help them with their issues in life and the other way around. I met them on a holiday to England recently and we all had a lot of fun together.
Returning I felt lonely realising I had no one, real life, same city or area to talk to outside of my mom, especially about gay stuff.

I also have asthma and a very bad condition so I decided to start swimming, once a week, 3 hours recreational at the local pool.

I was alone and saw a mom with her doughter play with a ball in the pool and I asked to join in. Then it happened She had a brother my age and we played around in the pool for the remaining 2 hours. I was very open and so was he, turns out he had been in a simular situation with "friends". It clicked instantly and we where kinda touchy.

The day after things go weird. Via skype he asked me if I was gay - again and again when I tried to go around the subject. At end I couldn't go around and I said I am not sure and honestly answered I never had a sexual relationship but had several girl crushes in the past and even a girlfriend once but seem to be more interested in boys.

It was awkward for 10 minutes but things cleared up when the reason he asked came up - His mom is a lesbian and he was afraid anyone would judge his family or start bullying them, especially considdering he was so open the first day.

A week after we went swimmign again and we where touchy like the first time, nothing changed, he wasn't distance and we had fun. I invited him for dinner and we had Döner.

Now the weird things start. He told me his mom told him to be carefull if we ever "ahum"'d thinking we where in love with eachother. I honestly answered I wasn't and wasn't thinkign about that kind of stuff yet. (I still have a recent trauma to deal ith before thinkign about love.) He was kinda odd about it and brought it up again. A normal conversation followed. I biked him home partly because he didn't know the way but then thigns became awkward. He said he wasn't compeltely sure about his gender. (And that he wasn't 100% sure about his sexuality either desptie having multipel girlfiriends in the past.) He imidiatly asked me not to tell anyone so I won't outside of here. He seems to wear a dress very occationalyl when in his room in evenings. The way he looked at me at the short conversation that followed started to question me if he liked me. When talking our gazes didn't slip and we just smiled while talking even if it was a serious conversation, I only later realised this was kinda odd/awkward/out of what I am used to. I started to question if I like him and I may have kinda gotten a slight crush on him.

Now just 2 weeks after meeting him we gone swimming again like now "normal" and the touchyness was still there, we still are the same, was glad nothing changed but again when biking home He dropped some minor hints. (standing ever so slightly closer to me then normal, Keeping eye contact locked, Trying to comfort me or make me smile when a rough bit of conversation happened, which I do to him too but yeah...) He said he hoped we would be friends for a long time, he seemed glad we met and I told him I was glad we met as I had so much troubles in the past. Finding someone who accepted me for who and what I am was a real challange and at end it just happened randomly and trust grew quickly. somehow the situation changed into a conversation about recent killer clowns appearing in the country. I said I'd jump in front of him if he were to be attacked as being protective and being there for your friends is important. It stayed scilent for a little while looking at eachother and the covnersation continued normally.

I am 15, I am "smart" (to say the least) and due to the way I talk due to that I always had trouble finding friends my age. He is 2,5 years younger and is as mature as I am in most ways. I can talk to him on the same level, which is rare for me, I do not want to loose the only person till now around my age that I can talk to on the same level as I think.

All these awkward moments and places where things where about trust we just naturally seem to have for eachother and signs hints make me wonder...

Do you guys think he likes me, what should I do. I am really sure I developed a crush for him but the friendship with him is way more important then that to me due to the troubles I have making friends with my history, The level I talk on (simular to your avarage non anitsocial 25 year old) and being gay. What should I do.

Regards, me, a random person in the Netherlands.

Ps. I suffer chronic migraines and I wrote this just after an attack, my vision and coördination aren't great right now so I apologise fot typo's.

---------- Post added 17th Oct 2016 at 04:36 PM ----------

Quite unrelated but still, I ended up with a Kinsey F(ail). I answered all questions honestly. I am apparently unusual. xD

 

Still, I always see myself as gay but I still question as I have had serious girl crushes in the past. I was honest saying I was unsure even though in general I prefer boys.

I said it in these words just translated to Dutch. I don't like being dishonest.
So I guess that step is kinda over already...