So I've been out of this forum for a few months because I basically gave up looking for a bf and would just be single for the rest of 2016. But recently I met this guy at the club and we were interested in each other, and ever since I felt like the relationship progressed too quickly and now I am just constantly worrying about stuff that I shouldn't be worrying about until 3 months into the relationship. We are only seeing each other for a little more than 2 weeks now. Just yesterday I slept over at his place and he didn't let me sleep for hours because he wanted to be intimate. And being the desperate guy I always am, I just give in to temptation but throughout I felt uncomfortable because I have never been in a relationship before and all this was a bit of a shock to me. So I kept interrupting and stopping him and etc saying that I don't wanna do this, in the end I pressured him to let me sleep. Ever since I left his house the next day, I felt something is wrong although he had told me multiple times he is alright. He was less sweet, less engaging and is already replying to my messages much slower than he used to. I am a person that is very sensitive, so I started worrying what have I done to make him like this. Was it because of my actions yesterday night or whatever? I got so worried and at the same time I miss him more than before because although I was feeling uncomfortable all along yesterday, he made me feel better about myself. But he has been acting weird for a day now and I am afraid that this relationship will start to go downhill meanwhile my feelings for him just get stronger every day. I have asked him if his feelings changed and he insisted no, but then his behaviour just didn't match with that answer! I wanted to talk to him face to face but we will not be meeting each other for a few weeks due to exams and in different unis. This has also caused me to suffer greater concern as I don't know what he is going to feel about me after these weeks. :icon_sad: Am I worrying too much? Or is this relationship already going too fast and that is causing problems so quickly? I was so happy when we first got together because I could finally love someone and be loved, but now it seems like honeymoon period is already over after only 2 freaking weeks. I don't wanna lose him but I don't know what to think or act. I want him to be frank with me but I feel like he is hiding something. :dry: Should I force stuff out of his mind? Should I worry less and go with the flow? Or do I end this without hesitation before my feelings get out of hand? Help me :bang:
Hi there, I am sorry to hear that you are going through a tough time with your boyfriend right now. New relationships are always tough because you are just getting to know each other, and learn what it takes to make the relationship work for both people involved. It is important to understand that no relationship is perfect and there will always be little (or sometimes big things) that can happen that lead to disagreements, fights, or just a general sense of being uncomfortable. However, that doesn't mean the relationship is over and you should avoid making any rash decisions or jumping to conclusions based on what happens. I agree with you that even though he says everything is okay, there is clearly something going on thats resulting from what happened last night. Does that mean you should break up? Obviously not. Does that mean you need to address it? Well that will depend on your relationship and how you both work together. Personally, I think this is one of those situations where you need to be mature and have a conversation with him about what happened. Both of you need to be honest and that will help develop a better understanding and stronger relationship. I don't think worrying less or more will help until you talk to him. Regarding this situation specifically, there is no reason you should be "forced" to fool around with him, so it is 100% your right to say no and decide to sleep. Especially, if you think things are moving too fast. As a boyfriend, he should be respectful of that and not pressure you into something you aren't ready for. However, it is important to consider from his perspective that he may be feeling rejected and down as a result of your actions. Whether or not this was your intention, it is important to recognize how this has affected him as well, and its possible that this is the reason for his temperament change. To make this work, you will need to reach a compromise with him where both of you are understanding and able to get what you want. Being at the same stage and on the same page will help both of you recognize where your relationship is heading.
