How to deal with being never trans enough

Every talk is basically a debate. My mother is against it. Not that she wouldn't accept me, but obviously she thinks I'm not trans enough.

Every time I feel like I had committed a crime and waited for my sentence like everything I said or did in the past is used against me. I wouldn't wear boys clothes as a kid. Hated shopping though and wished I could. But I never spoke it out, because I am a damn scaredy cat and I am still. At 17 years old I can't make myself ask for a binder. And that is used against me.

It is used against me that I wore make-up. I had horrible acne plus an emo phase so this is actually reasonable behaviour.

How can I bring myself to develop anywhere like therapy? It puts me down, it makes me dysphoric to the point that I think of going to Syria and join some Anti-ISIS group so I can maybe feel manly enough.

It goes that way for half a year. I have no hope that I will ever be able to fight this. It's actually a lost case. Oh had I just been braver in my childhood...but I can't turn time. And I can't forget that I was never enough. Not good enough, not social enough and now not trans enough. :bang::bang::bang:

 

There's no such thing as "trans enough." You are trans if that is the way you identify. Your mother is wrong in putting you down that way. Ultimately the only thing that matters is you feeling comfortable with yourself. Therapy is always a good option, but not always realistic depending on your financial status. Unfortunately you may need to pick your battles with your mother; she doesn't sound like a woman willing to change her mind. I'm sorry things are so difficult right now, but you always have support here.

 

I agree, you are what you are and, that's trans - period.

We are taught that there are only two genders, male OR female but, that just isn't so. You can be one or the other, or anywhere in between and, the body does not dictate what gender you are, that's just the shell you happened to be born into, nothing more.

I know gay men in female bodies, lesbians in male bodies, straights in the wrong gender body and, everyone in between in between - I am one of those in betweens.

Sometimes we just have to ride it out and survive until we are able to make things better and, that might be what you need to do. Just be quiet, let it be almost forgotten, deal with it privately for a while.

it won't be long before you can take steps to make it better and, better just riding out the wait than causing turmoil you don't want to deal with.

 

Don't let anyone but yourself decide the person you want to be.

If you want a binder, get one.

Have you looked into some LGBT youth support groups in your area?

 

So your mother is against it but you think she will be accepting? That sounds like two different things.