Okay so this probably sounds like stupid teenager problems but just deal with me I want some help. I have been with my boyfriend for 8 months and have recently realized that I don't really like him anymore. I mean I love him but in a friendly way. We have also been having some problems. One of which is he looks too far in the future. He always talks about when we go to college (I'm a sophomore and he's a junior) and he wants to just give up in doing what he wants and follow me to California which is romantic and all but I don't really want him to follow me there than we end up breaking up then. He also talks about when we are married and us having kids and everything like that and it's like I'm 15 in not having kids anytime soon. I have had some other issues with him like him invalidating my gender he talks about how I can't be trans because I'm too feminine and he tries to convince me to be even more feminine and it drives me nuts. On another note, ,I just don't think I'm right for him at the moment. He like to cuddle and be touchy and I don't. I hate being touched it's been 8 months and we haven't even kissed yet and I've noticed him getting frustrated with me and he's been doing things like kissing me on the cheek or asking about when I'll be ready to kiss him and I honestly hate it and I kind of want my first kiss to be with a girl. He is a really lovely dovey type of person to and I'm not and it kind of drives us a part abbot I mean he loves to hold hands and put his arms around me and cuddle and I really don't. And what really makes me notice this is that I don't really have romantic feelings for him anymore. Another issue I have would be actually breaking up with him. It scares the crap out of me because he has anger issues and depression so I am extremely worried that he will hurt himself or try to kill him self since he has mentioned that in past breakups he has seriously considered it and I really am afraid that will happen. I also would have no clue when to do it since we basically never see each other outside of school and he doesn't live close enough for me to go to his house or something and I would be the douche who breaks up through text (I did it with my last boyfriend) but he doesn't have a phone and very rarely uses facebook. I also would have no clue what to say to him I mean I've cinsidered telling him I'm only into girls but that's not exactly true since I'm still working on my sexuality and don't know if I like guys at all or a little bit or what. I just wanted some advice I am horrible with emotions especially other people's and he's an emotional guy which makes it hard and I don't want to hurt him but I don't want our relationship to turn really bad. It's obvious he still really likes me and he tells me he loves me all the time which I've never returned the saying. Just please help me with this I probably sound like a dramatic teenager but it's something everyone goes through.
If you can't say "I love you" and mean it, then you need to tell him that, don't lead him on with hopes of a future you don't want. If that ends the relationship now, so be it, it's best for both of you.
Well it sounds like breaking up here would be best for you, and for him. Even with anger issues and depression, your feelings towards him indicate that this is not a healthy relationship for either of you, and the sooner that you are able to be independent again would be better. The problems you have stated aren't really that unusual and are pretty common among most usual couples so don't worry about whether breaking up with him is justified or not. I don't think you have to go into a million details for him about why you are breaking up. It can be as simple as "I don't think we are right for each other and my feelings are just not there in a romantic way anymore". I think after 8 months you own him at least a phone conversation (though better in person), but in the grand scheme of things, 8 months is not a long time to be dating. I know you feel that you need to be responsible for what happens after you break up, and it's nice that you care, but sometimes you need to do what is best for you, and though you can offer support, his reactions are his problem and as long as you aren't in harms way then it should be okay to go through with this when you are ready.
